My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate
by Twilight Shards
Summary: Post-Spellbound. When someone you love betrays you, how do you heal the scars that they have inflicted? A young wizard wants nothing more than to help Raven recover from what she has been through, but will she let him? (RorekRaven)
1. Scars

_This is my first attempt at a Teen Titans fanfic, and I hope it's a decent one. I was really inspired by the episode Spellbound for a few reasons: 1) Raven finally had a love interest, 2) Her love interest was kind of cute, and 3) ...it was sad how everything ended. I felt really sorry for Raven, because I think she deserves a happy ending. Anyway, if this story offends anyone in anyway, I didn't mean to. I'm not bashing anyone, and I'm especially not bashing on BBRae fans, 'cause I think the green guy is so freaking hilarious _

_Well, enjoy! Oh, and I don't own the Teen Titans._

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter One: Scars

By Twilight Shards

The faint beams of the light of the moon that hung in the sky did not penetrate the eternal darkness that was her room. Artifacts of the occult were arranged at different corners, adding to the mysterious atmosphere that she was so accustomed to. Forbidden books laid on the floor and her desk, and the fragrant scent of candles hung in the gloomy air. Although this room was a part of the tower, walking into it was like entering another dimension that was too surreal for words. That was how her teammates felt, but to her, this room was her sanctuary.

This is often where she would escape to, her own little space where she was not pressured to smile or laugh. This was where she was not questioned, not stared at, and most importantly, not judged. She knew the others did their best to include her in their social activities, and they treated her with kindness in their own individual ways.

Despite Starfire's over-enthusiastic and sometimes unbearable attitude and Beast Boy's acts of immaturity, they along with Robin and Cyborg would always be her friends.

But neither of them could understand her, try as they might. They could not possibly fathom what it was like to be her, and she always thought no one ever could.

Until one fateful day, _he_ appeared into her life.

Eyes were closed in concentration and her legs were crossed. Her body levitated steadily above the ground, the edges of her midnight blue cape almost touching the floor. A curtain of violet hair framed her pale face, her lips reciting the sacred chant of her home world. Her solemn voice was the only thing that broke the eerie silence of her room as she meditated.

There was once a time when someone else's voice was heard here, a voice that brought her comfort that she had not known for so long.

She shut her eyes tighter, forcing the memory away. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." she continued to chant in an attempt to focus.

Two gray, but piercing eyes would often stare at her from the book they were imprisoned in. They were eyes that she found to be beautiful despite their lack of color.

Her voice was raised a pitch as she chanted. Crackles of dark energy were beginning to form, but she was too immersed in her longing to forget the past, to forget him...

His smooth, confident voice called her beautiful, something that she never expected to hear from anyone. He sounded so sincere that she was foolish enough to believe that she was even the slightest bit attractive...

The silent atmosphere was disrupted by bursts of black magic that radiated from her frail body, creating small rushes of unnatural wind. Her hair flew against her face, but her eyes remained close in her determination to concentrate.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Even though he was made of nothing more than aged papers and scrolls of forgotten spells, feeling him wrap his arms around her was the greatest feeling in the world...

_No, forget about him. I want to forget...!_

She remembered him mentoring her, teaching her the ways of his own magic. She was so happy to hear his praises because they gave her a sense of confidence that no one else could have given.

_Stop it..._

She wanted nothing more than to release him from that book, so that once he was in his human form she would be able to see the true color of his eyes for the first time. She would have been even happier than when she had first heard his voice, she would even introduce him to her teammates.

The walls of her room began to shake as her cape billowed in the air. The rush of wind had escalated to a full-blown tempest that threatened to destroy her belongings, but she didn't notice.

Whenever he spoke, she felt that she had finally met someone that understood her. She thought that for once she was not alone, that she belonged to someone. He made her feel _loved_...

_NO!!!_

Her eyes flashed white for an instant, and the sound of glass shattering finally broke her trance. She fell to the floor soundly, gripping the edge of her cape as she tried to catch her breath. When her heart had stopped hammering in her chest, she noticed that many of her books were sprawled open upon the ground with some of the pages tattered and wrinkled. The blankets of her bed were thrown aside, and the curtains were somewhat in disarray.

Her dark amethyst eyes caught the glint of the shards of glass that were scattered on her floor. She realized that the mirror of her dresser must have broken during her meditation.

Ever since that incident, it was difficult for her to do anything anymore. Granted, she had tried to open up a bit more to her friends, but there was still a void that she couldn't ignore. It had gotten so bad that she couldn't even meditate peacefully anymore, and that thought alone scared her. There were instances when her emotions had gone out of control, and neither of them was good. The fact that she was unable to concentrate was frightening. She couldn't afford to lose control of her emotions. There was no telling what would happen if she did...

"Raven?!" A cheerful, feminine voice beckoned her from the other side. "Hello, Raven? Are you there?"

"What is it?" she asked, her voice showing no traces of her anxiety.

"I have been calling you for the past few minutes! Is there anything wrong?"

"No. What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you if you wish to partake in the mutilation of pumpkins with our friends."

"...no."

"Oh, please!" the Tamaran girl begged. "Beast Boy has told me that it is great fun! It would be much more enjoyable if you could help in the carving of silly and atrocious faces on harmless produce!"

"I don't think—"

"PLLEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEE?"

Raven let out a sigh. If it would shut her up, then she would do it. It might even be good for herself if she took a break.

"Fine, I'll be down soon."

"Glorious!" Starfire exclaimed. "I shall make sure that we save a pumpkin for you!"

She heard a whoosh, and she knew Starfire had flown away to the others. Her attention turned towards the broken shards of glass. Her hand glowed with pitch black energy that engulfed the shards, and she assembled them in the frame with a wave of her hand. After the spell was finished, there were no cracks in the reconstructed mirror. It looked as if it had never broken at all.

Her hand touched the cool surface. Her reflection looked back at her, unsmiling and emotionless.

There were times that she had smiled, even laughed with her friends, but whenever she smiled around _him_, she never felt awkward about it.

In spite of his attempts to kill her friends and destroy her home, he made her felt good. Even wanted.

And that made her feel sick to her stomach.

"RAVEN, WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE STARTING NOW!"

Starfire's voice echoed through the hall, and Raven knew that she couldn't delay them any longer. She headed towards the automatic door and left her room.

When she reached the living room, she found that her teammates were eagerly waiting for her.

"Finally," Beast Boy muttered. "Now we can start!" He got out his knife and stabbed the top of the pumpkin, carving around the green stem.

The others began with theirs. Robin was instructing Starfire how to begin before starting his. Cyborg's pumpkin was instantly broken into bits because of his strength, so he had to start another one. He didn't begin carving right away because Beast Boy started throwing huge handfuls of slimy pumpkin seeds at him, and Cyborg had to retaliate by doing the same.

Raven observed them with a blank look on her face, and then she grabbed her knife and carved the top.

"My pumpkin is gonna be the best Jack o' Lantern in the tower!" Beast Boy boasted, seeds clinging from his green hair as he intently carved an eye into his pumpkin.

A look of confusion crossed Starfire's tanned face. "Your pumpkin is named Jack?"

Beast Boy looked bewildered, but Robin answered for him. "No, Starfire. Jack o' Lanterns are what pumpkins are called after people carve faces onto them and light them up."

"We are going to burn them?!"

"No, we're going to put candles in them so that they glow. You know, like a decoration."

"Ohhhh," answered the naïve alien girl. "So then...who is Jack, and why is a vegetable named after him?"

Raven's telepathically scooped out the seeds from her pumpkin and placed them neatly in the trash can as Robin attempted to answer Starfire's question. Her hand held the knife steadily as she began to carve an eye. She could barely hear the voices of her friends as she gracefully finished one eye and began on the other.

"Ha, you call that a Jack o' Lantern!" Cyborg teased Beast Boy through fits of laughter. "Looks like a five-year-old did it!"

"Like yours is any better, Cy?" the changeling replied back.

Raven had finished both eyes as the boys continued to argue. She looked back at the pumpkin, and decided that something was missing. Taking her knife, she decided to fix it.

"...wow, looks like Rae's got us beat."

"Your Jack looks marvelous, Raven!"

"It doesn't have a mouth though..."

It took Raven a few seconds to realize that everyone was gathered around her. She didn't know what was so amazing until she took a good look at her pumpkin.

Without knowing it, she had carved two perfect eyes, and had skillfully created thin slits in the center. Three more slits were carved underneath the eyes, resembling lashes, and two eyebrows had been arched gracefully over the eyes.

And like Robin had pointed out, there was no mouth.

"I still think mine looks better," pouted Beast Boy.

"Then get rid of it," Raven snapped, telepathically sending a knife that landed a bit too close to the changeling's hand for comfort. She stood from her place at the counter and before anyone could stop her, she had left.

Her footsteps sounded on the metal floor of the hallway as she reached her room. The automatic door swished open soundlessly, and she returned to the perpetual darkness that was her bedroom.

She went immediately to her closet, moving aside bizarre and strange artifacts as she did. Within a few moments, she had found it: the trunk in which she had locked away the ancient spell book that had created this whole mess.

She unlocked the trunk and the black and white cover of the book greeted her. She took it into her hands and brought it close to her. In this book existed the dragon that she had imprisoned into using the same curse that the wizard before her had conjured. Yet, there was a tiny part of Raven that wanted to lift the curse and open the book.

She shook her head and grew disgusted with herself. The warlock that she had foolishly freed was a villain. He used her and betrayed her as part of a scheme to break the curse that was placed upon him by his slayer. More importantly, he had tried to murder her teammates, the closest things that she had for friends.

Still...she felt special when he was around. Even if he was lying, she had enjoyed being with him.

"I'm an idiot," she spoke out loud. "He was going to kill me...he was going to kill them..."

A knock sounded at her door. "Raven?"

Hurriedly putting back the book back into the trunk and closing her closet, she answered. "What is it now?"

"It is I, Starfire. I wish to give you your Jack o' Lantern."

"I told Beast Boy to get rid of it."

"He could not. None of us could. Instead, we put a candle in it for you. It looks quite wondrous, would you not like to see it?"

Raven levitated herself off the ground and crossed her legs in a half-lotus position. "No, I don't."

"But you made it yourself. Will you not at least admire your work?"

Feeling that if she complied to her request that she would finally be left alone afterwards, Raven gave in. "Come in."

She closed her eyes as she heard the alien's footsteps.

"Just leave it on my dresser."

Starfire did as she told her, and after a few moments of silence, she spoke. "The others and I are worried about you. Beast Boy especially feels—"

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm _fine_," Raven answered, placing emphasis on the last word.

"Are you certain? Perhaps you would feel better if you talk about it—"

"I said I'm _fine_," Raven cut her off. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

"Do you not wish to watch a senseless horror movie with us instead?"

"No."

Starfire did nothing as Raven began to chant and fall into a trance. She stood there for a few more minutes and then left, the door automatically closing behind her.

After she had gone, Raven stopped meditating. She stood on her feet again and sat on the edge of her bed. Her amethyst eyes observed the Jack o' Lantern that stood glowing on her dresser.

The candle that flickered inside the pumpkin emitted an eerie light that made the eyes look alive. It was haunting, yet strangely calming at the same time.

She tore her eyes away from the lantern and rested her head on one of her pillows.

"...I truly am an idiot."

Misery began to sink into her. But Raven refused to cry. She wouldn't let herself do that. She didn't want to be weak ever again.

With that, she drifted into a dreamless sleep, her cape draping over her slim body as she slept.

* * *

He grew deeply concerned when he heard the loud crash of something breaking on the floor. He was worried when he felt the dark energy swirling around the girl feeding off her frustration with every second that passed, but he felt relieved when he heard someone come into her room. When he heard her voice and its restored calm, he knew that she was safe.

When she returned to her room, he felt the sorrow that seemed to emanate from her very soul. It was so strong that he could feel it from within the pages of the book he was trapped in.

He knew that Malchior was the reason the girl was feeling this way. He regretted not killing the creature when he had the chance.

He felt that this was all his fault. If he had never sealed Malchior within the book and would've just slain him, the dragon wouldn't have manipulated the one called Raven. He couldn't even warn the girl because he was overpowered. Malchior had gotten to her first, and he was helpless to save her.

He heard her come in. A pair of hands was fumbling in the darkness, and he felt her pick up the spell book. He could feel her warmth as she held it close to her. A few tense moments went by, for he did not know what would compel her to hold the book once more.

"I'm an idiot," he heard her spoke cynically. "He was going to kill me...he was going to kill them..."

There was, without a doubt, a tone of bitterness to her words, and he could sense the same sorrow that engulfed her very being.

He heard a second voice, and he felt her hands pushing the book back to where she had hidden it. The voices were muffled, and when a while had passed, he knew that she was alone again. She had fallen asleep, but he sensed the restlessness of her troubled soul.

If only he could break through this curse that she had placed onto the book. Then, he could apologize for not being able to prevent the damage that the damned creature had caused to her and her friends.

Malchior had ruined many lives before, but how he had the heartlessness to play with the emotions of an innocent girl was beyond him.

No matter, he was slowly regaining his strength, ironically only after Malchior was forced back into the spell book. He would free himself of this thousand-year-old prison and tend to the damage that his enemy had caused.

And perhaps, he could help heal that girl's soul, and she would know peace once again.


	2. Malchior's Slayer

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter Two: Malchior's Slayer

By Twilight Shards

He could sense that she had awoken. Her aura was always calmest during the early hours of morning. For a short while, the misery and quiet anguish that would emanate from her were nowhere to be found. She was at peace for those few moments until those feelings of silent frustration would surface, and she would put up a barrier of impassiveness to hide it just like she had done so many times before.

Even though he had never talked to her, he already knew so much about her.

He could feel his strength returning to him with each moment. In a few days, he might even be able to break the girl's curse and free himself. After Malchior's betrayal, he doubted that she would be willing to free him, so he would have to take that task upon his own hands.

How he was going to go about it was an entirely different matter.

He would have the power to break the curse, he was certain of it. But he wasn't sure how the girl would react. She was deceived into believing that Malchior was actually the wizard who had slain the dragon. It was very unlikely that she would believe him, despite the fact that it was actually _him_ who trapped the dragon into the book in the first place.

He could feel her presence leaving the room, most likely to grab some nourishment. It was quite strange; he sensed that she harbored great feelings of resentment against Malchior, but there was still the slightest trace of longing for him as well. It was like she actually _regretted_ cursing the evil creature back into the book.

But _how_? How could she still have any thread of emotion left for that monster? He lied to her, _used_ her like some sort of pawn. In the midst of his twisted plans, he didn't even consider the girl's feelings for him. So why...?

The first thing he had to do was to free himself, and then he would worry about how she would react. The power within him that had been dormant for a little over a thousand years was awakening again. It was only a matter of time until he would be able to lift the curse. Then, he would have to confront the girl, and hopefully it will not be hostile meeting.

The unwavering sadness was back, and he knew she had returned. Without even seeing her actions, he could tell that her mind was falling into a deep trance. She had begun her meditation, the struggling emotions she had tried so hard to hide beginning to subside as she chanted. He tried to picture her from the few instances he had caught glimpses of her face.

He had remembered a pair of solemn eyes that held wisdom beyond her years. Violet hair had fallen to the sides of a pale, youthful face, and there was a small red gem embedded in the middle of her forehead.

Although she was very serious looking for her age, he still found her to be...lovely. This was especially true when she had smiled.

He scolded himself. This was no time to have such thoughts. He had to concentrate on getting his strength back if he ever wanted to be a free man again.

...maybe when he leaves this prison, he could make her smile. There was something that told him that she hadn't done so for a long while.

* * *

"Dude, come on!!!"

"No, it's too risky."

"Nothing is gonna happen!"

"Beast Boy, it's Halloween Night. There's no telling what kind of psychos will be roaming the streets that night."

"If you mean the munchkins with the masks and costumes who are carrying their pillowcases around with them, they're just _kids_!"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Aw, COME ON! Are we gonna celebrate Halloween by monitoring the city while everyone else is having a good time?!"

"Basically, yes."

Beast Boy pouted in response to the Boy Wonder's blunt answer. "But that's what we do everyday!"

"That's what we're _supposed_ to do, in case you've forgotten," Robin stated. "Our job is to protect people, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Beast Boy ranted, "but even bad guys take holidays off," the changeling took out a poster and shoved it in Robin's face, giving him barely enough room to breathe.

"That club downtown is having a Halloween bash. There's gonna be music, babes in costumes—"

"And all the free food you can eat!" Cyborg added enthusiastically.

Robin could see that they were intent on going to the party. Beast Boy was decked out in a vampire costume complete with fangs, and Cyborg was dressed in an outfit that resembled Frankenstein with two grotesque bolts sticking out of his neck.

"Guys, _no_," Robin answered, his tone unwavering. "We can't go out and have a good time when the city is at risk—"

The doors automatically opened and Starfire floated gracefully in. It didn't take long for the Boy Wonder to realize that she was wearing a pink, flowing dress with sparkling wings attached onto her back. To top it all off, she was carrying a wand in one of her gloved hands.

"Do you like my overpriced Halloween outfit?" she beamed, settling on the floor.

"...not you, too," Robin groaned.

"Robin, what is the matter?" Starfire asked, looking worried. "Do you not like my costume?"

"No, no it's not that, it's..." Robin stopped and looked at the grinning faces of Beast Boy and Cyborg while Starfire was looking rather puzzled.

"Look dude, we'll know trouble when we see it. If some bad guy decides to start something, we'll be there in a second to kick his butt!"

"Yeah, so stop worrying and get ready to party 'til the sun comes up!"

Seeing how Beast Boy and Cyborg weren't going to give up, the Boy Wonder caved in. "Okay, but if there's the slightest hint of danger—"

"We know the routine: you'll say 'Teen Titans, go!' and we beat up the guy and throw him in jail! Now get into your costume already."

Robin shot him a confused look. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

The changeling rolled his eyes. "Dude, it's so uncreative! There's bound to be twenty other guys dressed like Robin!"

"...I _am _Robin."

"Beast Boy, have you invited Raven to accompany us to the celebration?" Starfire asked.

The grin on Beast Boy's face disappeared. "Tried to, but she's been in her room forever—"

As if on cue, the doors opened once more and Raven stepped into the living room. Without taking any time to notice her teammates' costumes, she went over to the kitchen and began setting a kettle of water on the stove to boil.

While she was getting out a packet of herbal tea from the cupboard, Starfire rushed to her side.

"Raven, you are not in proper attire!"

Raven looked blankly at the Tamaran girl and noticed the sparkling dress she was wearing. "Proper attire for what?"

"Beast Boy has told us about a celebration in one of those clubs with the ear-deafening music and blinding lights!" the redhead beamed. "It will be great fun!"

"I'll pass," Raven answered, getting out a mug.

"Oh, is it because you do not have a costume?" Suddenly, Starfire pulled a wing set and a halo out of nowhere. She arranged the halo on top of the smaller girl's head and tied the wings onto her back.

"There, you now have a costume!" she cried happily.

Raven, to the others' surprise, did not lash out at the alien girl. Instead she plucked the halo off of her head and gave it back to Starfire.

"It's not really my style."

"Yeah, Star," Beast Boy chimed in. "It's Raven, you need something creepier!"

Before she knew it, Beast Boy appeared on her other side. At what seemed like the speed of light, he had set a pointed black hat onto her head and a broom in her hand.

"I think she looks better as a witch," he said, taking a step back to admire his work. "See, the hat matches the cape!"

Starfire shuddered in disapproval. "It is too dark and gloomy." She was lost in thought for a second, and then she clapped her hands together. "How about a fairy princess or perhaps an adorable rag doll?"

"No way! I think she should stick with this costume, or she could even be a vampire like me!" the changeling looked hopefully to Raven, who Cyborg and Robin both noted, was becoming increasingly agitated.

"We are going to a party, are we not? She should not be dressed in something so scary!"

"Uh, Star? It's Halloween!" Beast Boy exclaimed, waving his hands. "It's the one day of the year that people can dress up in scary costumes for fun!"

"Um, guys—"Robin tried to cut in, but Starfire and Beast Boy failed to hear him.

"Nonsense, she will go in something that is nice and pretty!"

"No, scary!"

"Pretty!"

"Scary!"

"_Pretty_!"

"_Scary_!"

"_ENOUGH_!"

Waves of dark energy cut through the air, and the sound of something cracking broke the suddenly quiet air. The cupboard doors swung open, releasing countless shards of ceramic and glass that once served as silverware.

In the midst of all the racket, the shrill whistle of kettle was heard, and Raven calmly turned the stove off and prepared her tea.

As cascades of the broken plates and cups poured onto the ground, Starfire and Beast Boy could do nothing but gape at the usually impassive girl.

"I'm _not_ going," Raven firmly stated, her voice regaining her monotone pitch. "I am going to stay in the tower and meditate."

She tore the hat off of her head and shoved it along with the broomstick into Beast Boy's hands. With her tea in hand, she left her astonished teammates without looking back.

After he had felt she was out of earshot, Robin spoke. "You guys shouldn't have argued like that."

"Dude, it's not our fault that she decided to break our silverware!"

"But you _did_ push her to the edge," Robin justified. "You know what her powers are like."

Starfire kneeled and picked up a piece of a broken dinner plate. "I do not understand. A few weeks ago, Raven was willing to engage in social activities with us without even protesting. But now, she spends her days locked inside of her room..."

Cyborg turned towards Robin. "You don't think that...?"

"No," Robin replied confidentially. "We saw her seal him up in that book. I doubt that she would be talking to him after what he did to her."

"But then what's going on? The last time she lost her temper like this was when she nuked breakfast that one time—"

"I don't know why she's acting like this," Robin said. "But if she wants to be alone, we should respect that."

Beast Boy was about to protest, but Robin stopped him. "She's probably going through a tough time right now, and even if she knows we want to help her, she won't let us. She needs to figure things out, and we need to give her space in the meantime."

The other three fell silent. It was obvious that neither of them was comfortable with what their leader said, but they all knew it was true. There was only so much they could do to help her, especially when she didn't want to talk to them about it.

"In any case, she wouldn't want us pondering about it," Robin concluded.

"That's right," Cyborg added. "Now are we gonna go to that party or not?"

Looking reluctantly at the place Raven had been when she had telepathically broken the contents of the cupboards, Starfire hovered after them. Beast Boy was the last to leave, his enthusiasm of going to the Halloween party nowhere to be found. He took a few seconds to observe the shattered pieces lying on the floor, and then he followed his teammates to the tower's exit.

* * *

She didn't mean to do what she did. Something inside of her just slipped out of her control, and it resulted in her breaking all the dishes and glasses.

She looked at her hands as if she were seeing them for the first time. Faint traces of energy were coursing through her fingers from the unintended spell.

The last time she lost control of her temper was when her hatred had threatened to consume her. She knew that she had not completely defeated it, but she wasn't planning on it to resurface so soon.

"_Admit it..._"

A menacing voice leered at her from her dresser. Taking cautious steps, she gingerly picked up the ancient mirror that two of her teammates had the misfortune of being drawn into.

"_You know very well why you cannot control your own emotions anymore._"

She shut her eyes tightly in meditation as she tried to drown out the voice.

"_It is because you can't stop thinking of_ him"

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." she adamantly chanted, determined to drown out the voice.

"_Deep down, you know that you miss him. You want him to come back. You just simply will not _admit_ it._"

"I don't miss him," she heard herself say.

The voice chuckled. "_Oh, yes you do. He was the only one who truly did understand you_."

"He did not understand me," she replied, her voice almost trembling. "He _lied_ to me."

Black energy began to circle around her, her cape swaying in the unnatural wind. Demonic red eyes glared at her from the surface of the mirror, burning into her with an accusation that she was not willing to believe.

"_Silly little girl_," it taunted. "_He understood you well. He knew that you were just as heartless as him in the inside._"

"Shut up...!"

"_He knew what you truly are: the spawn of an evil demon whose cruelty has no bounds. He knew and that was why he used you!_"

"He used me because I was the only one who could free him!" she shouted over the swirling torrent of dark magic.

"_And you let yourself be used, because your soul is tainted and he knew that and accepted you! You are the same as him! You are both corrupt!_"

"I am _NOT_ like him!" Her eyes were glowing crimson now, mirroring the monstrous ones in her mirror.

"_If it weren't for your friends, you would've let him destroy the city that you are bound to protect!" _the voice screeched manically._ "He would have burned it until not even the ashes remained, and you would still follow in his steps like the lovesick girl you are!_"

She had fallen to her knees, her violet hair whipping around her face. Her slender hands were clutching tightly at her cape as she tried to keep the rage from engulfing her very being...

"_You cannot even have a peaceful night's sleep without having his name cross your mind. Admit it you foolish child...you love him..._"

A tormented scream ripped through her throat and into the night as Raven was once again thrown into an internal conflict with the hatred she had tried so hard to suppress.

* * *

He focused his energy, thinking of nothing else as he concentrated. His voice was steady and confident as he chanted, and the only thing he could feel was the magic streaming through his fingertips.

Slowly, he could feel the dark energy encased in the pages of the book begin to disintegrate. His spell was working, and knowing this encouraged him to continue.

This was the day. He was going to be free again. He _knew_ it.

All of a sudden, something had disrupted his concentration. He could feel a tempest of emotion entering the room, and he knew that the girl was back sooner than he had expected.

But what he sensed next had shocked him. There was a second presence in the room, but it was something he had never felt before. This presence was pure darkness, an unfathomable rage that was nothing short of demonic. It was merciless and unrelenting like a violent storm, and the girl was using all her strength to fight it.

To make matters worse, he knew she was losing.

He concentrated what was left of his powers into the spell. The chains of the curse were breaking now, and he was feeling unusually lightheaded. It was like a weight had been lifted off of him, and he was finally free to move about for the first time in countless ages.

There was a flash of blinding white light. When he felt that first breath of air fill his lungs, he knew that the spell had worked.

However, the sight that welcomed him when he had opened his eyes gave him reason to postpone his victory. A maelstrom of jet black energy had formed in the center of the room.

And in the middle of it was the girl, helpless to stop it.

Wasting no time, he rushed towards the maelstrom. The black energy that encircled her prevented him from getting to her. Determined to help the girl, he cast a spell to form a shield of glowing white light to protect him. He was able to pass through the wall of dark magic, and he landed next to the girl.

He found her on kneeling on the ground, gripping tightly onto the cape she wore. Her eyes were shut, her teeth gritted in frustration.

"_It is useless to resist, you foolish girl. Give in to your hatred._"

He heard the demonic voice over the whirling currents of dark energy, each one of its words dripping with venom.

Before he could locate the source of the disembodied voice, he heard the girl cry out.

"**_LEAVE ME ALONE!!!_**" she screamed, her hands now pressing against the sides of her face. Her eyes suddenly opened, and he could see that they were flashing white. But in a second, the color had altered to blood red, and then white once more.

She was trying to resist the demonic aura. Her powers were at their limits as she was attempting to keep her sanity.

She was in pain, and he could not stand idly by. He _had_ to do something.

He lowered himself to her height and took her by her shoulders, forcing her to face him. She did not react; her eyes were shut tightly once more, and her hands were gripping at the strands of her hair.

"...Raven," the name rolled off his tongue, softly and evenly. This was the first time he had uttered the name that Malchior had called this girl when he would talk to her.

He shook off the strange feeling in his chest and repeated the girl's name. "Raven."

She opened her eyes, the clashing of white and red still apparent. Her hands slowly left the sides of her head, but her arms were still shaking uncontrollably.

His hold on her small shoulders was firm, and his eyes never left hers. "You have to fight this."

Her eyes shut again, as if she were trying to regain control. Her hands clenched into fists, and he had realized that the storm of dark energy was beginning to die down around them.

He continued to hold her by the shoulders and continued, "You cannot allow this evil to take over you. Raven, you must concentrate and defeat it."

As if he had uttered another spell, the already subsiding storm had disappeared, leaving a bunch of trinkets and books lying around and a nearly unconscious girl behind. She fell forward, but he was there to catch her in his arms. Her head rested against the cool metal of his silver armor while she caught her breath.

Rather than being relieved that she had overpowered the demonic force for now, he was concerned about her well-being. It must have taken a great deal of magic to do what she had done just now.

"Are you all right?" he asked. When she lifted her face upwards to look at him, his breath was caught.

Violet hair draped against the cheeks of a delicate face. Pools of amethyst stared at him in wonder, and the strange feeling he was experiencing earlier had returned twofold in an instant.

"...you..." she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes widened in recognition, and then they blazed white once again.

A chain of dark energy encircled around him, and he was lifted into the air before he knew it. The girl's weary expression was contorted into rage.

"How did you escape?!" she questioned him.

"Please, listen to me," he answered, doing his best to remain calm. "I am not who you think I am."

"Lies!" she shouted, forcing the chain around him to tighten.

"I am not lying to you—"He winced as the chain had constricted around him even tighter.

"You expect me to believe a traitor like you?" she retorted. "After what you said, after everything that you did?!"

Her voice was trembling with emotion, and his disgust for Malchior had reached its peak. The damage he had inflicted upon this girl was far worse than any bodily injury.

"You lied to me," she continued, "I trusted you...and you betrayed me..."

Much to his surprise, the spell was weakening considerably. Even though she was doing her best to stay on her feet, her concentration was faltering.

"I will never believe anything you say. You won't use me again."

The spell was broken, and he was released. The girl was swaying violently, and he feared that she was going to collapse.

"...I'll _never_ forgive you...Malchior..."

With those last words, she began to fall forward but he caught her once again before she hit the ground. He realized that she was unconscious, but he wasn't surprised. The spell she had cast on him took what little strength she had left, which left her physically and emotionally drained.

He soundlessly set her on her bed, and took a moment to analyze the situation he was in. Obviously, the girl had mistaken him to be the dragon that had deceived her. But that wasn't what bothered him the most.

The demonic presence that had endangered the girl was very troubling. He knew that her aura had been very unsettling as of late, despite her efforts to keep it under control. What she was fighting was something that could have overwhelmed her completely if he had not arrived.

Not only was she still scarred from Malchior's betrayal, but she was engaged in an internal conflict that could very well destroy her.

He took another look at the girl. She seemed so peaceful resting; sleep must have been her escape from the world she felt so withdrawn from.

He looked away and examined the chamber, which was in a terrible state. With one simple wave of his hand, he arranged the displaced books back onto the shelves and the numerous trinkets and decorations onto their rightful places. Afterwards, he pondered a question that seemed to have no easy solution: What was he to do now?

One thing was for certain: he could not stay here. Her allies were gone for the moment, but if they found him sitting at her bedside, hostile confrontations were a possibility. He would have to leave this place and find somewhere that he would be safe.

Fortunately for him, he took the time to master the skill of casting teleport spells. He knew of a place that he could seek refuge in. It should be desolate and well hidden, and he was more than certain that it was a considerable amount of distance from this place.

But what to do with _her_? He glanced back at her as she slept tranquilly, and he found that simply leaving her was somehow out of the question.

If he had been Malchior perhaps, then he would be able to abandon the girl without a second thought. But there was something in him that refused to leave her here.

As he had seen earlier, the girl was in danger of a malevolent force that could one day claim her. Her predicament took a turn for the worse after she had sealed Malchior back into the spell book.

He could not help but feel overwhelmed with guilt; if he had simply slain the dragon in the first place, she would have never been deceived into freeing him. She would have been saved from a lot of grief and frustration, and knowing that just increased his guilt. He felt that the least he could do was help the girl. If her emotions continue to keep building up, they would eventually spiral out of her control.

It was then that the wizard decided to bring the girl with him. There had to be a way that he could help her, and he was determined to find it.

_AUTHOR'S NOTE_

_Phew, longer chapter then I expected, but it's finished. I know, it's been boring for the first couple of chapters, but I promise it'll get better! Thank you for those who have reviewed. They mean a lot to me, and they encourage me to keep writing. So thanks again! _


	3. Questions

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter Three: Questions

_She desperately fought for control, her body and mind both locked in conflict. The crackles of dark energy were almost deafening as they entrapped her. The malicious voice was agonizing her, accusing her of things she refused to believe. She could feel the strength leaving her, and her body was beginning to feel very cold. After every length she went to restrain her emotions, she was going to lose..._

_Then, she could feel someone holding her by the shoulders. She couldn't see them, but she could hear a voice calling her name. It was a calm and beautiful voice that sounded so familiar. _

_She couldn't see a face, but someone was telling her not to give up. She could hear their encouraging words, and like magic, she found the strength to keep fighting. The person continued to hold her as she fought to keep the anger from consuming her. _

_After what seemed like an eternity, she had defeated it. But she was so tired, her body aching from the ordeal that she could feel herself falling. But someone had caught her, holding her in arms that were warm and strong._

_The soothing voice spoke again, and she wanted to look up to see the face of the person who had helped her. _

_Long locks of silver white hair fell past broad shoulders, and a pale face was partially hidden by a black scarf. Two piercing blue eyes were looking down at her, and she couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sight of them._

_It was not until after a few seconds that it registered in her mind. She had seen those eyes before; they were once gray and they would often stare at her from a page that had the misfortune of being torn in half._

_The rage that she had fought so hard to control had returned. She trapped the man whom she had loathed, and now he was at her mercy. There was a faint shadow of sorrow, but it was overwhelmed by her hatred for him. She could hear herself yelling at him, but she couldn't make out the exact words. _

_Suddenly, she could feel the strength leaving her body. She tried to keep conscious, but her concentration broke and she was falling again._

_But somehow, she never seemed to hit the ground._

Her eyes fluttered open, and when her vision focused, she saw a stone ceiling above her head. Bewildered, she ignored the throbbing ache in her head and sat up. She was sitting on something very soft, and she found that she was on a bed that was definitely not hers. She left the mattress and stood up, her eyes examining her strange surroundings.

The room was spacious, and its walls and the floor were made entirely of stone. Thick dark draperies hung from a large window, and an old desk stood against the right wall.

Curious about where she was, Raven moved aside one of the draperies to look out the window. An endless canopy of trees loomed below a cloud-strewn sky. She could hear the sound of waves crashing onto the shore, but she could not see them in the darkness.

Wherever she was, she certainly wasn't in the Titan Tower.

"You're awake." A smooth, British voice stated from behind.

In an instant, her eyes flashed white and black energy encircled her hands as she whirled around to face her captor.

A thin young man was there at the door way, his silver hair cascading down his back and examining her with those ice blue eyes that she found both fascinating and horrid.

"Where am I?" she asked in a dangerously low voice.

"This is my home," he said taking stepping into the room much to her surprise. On closer inspection, she saw that fatigue was apparent in his features, but she didn't give it a second thought. "Or at least it was a millennium ago."

"You mean after you murdered its original owner and claimed it as your own?"

He didn't look offended or angry by her scathing question. "No, my father inherited this castle from my grandfather. It has been in my family for generations."

When he had taken another step, her powers summoned the nearby desk and engulfed it in black energy.

"Stay away from me," she demanded, levitating the desk as a means of defense.

He remained where he was, but those accursed blue eyes kept staring at her. "I would appreciate it if you did not destroy that."

"You shouldn't be worrying about your material possessions at a time like this, Malchior," she hissed.

"I am _not_ Malchior," he replied sternly.

"You're lying!" she yelled back, keeping herself from launching the furniture at him.

"I am not," he answered calmly. "If you would give me the chance to explain—"

"I will do no such thing!" she seethed. "I will send you back to where you belong and go home—"

"Dear girl, how do you expect to return to your home when you do not even know where you are?"

There was a hint of amusement in his charming voice, and she felt the blood rush up to her face.

"It took me years to perfect my teleportation spells, and I doubt that even with your extensive knowledge of the dark arts that you would be able to teleport across oceans."

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She did have the ability to teleport, but not within great distances. If what he said was true, then there was no way she could teleport back home if she was in a different nation.

"Then take me back to my home!" she argued, her psychic hold on the table slipping slowly away.

"Teleportation is a complicated spell, and it requires a great deal of magic. I am afraid that I cannot send you back until after a few days have passed."

_...that means I'm stuck here..._

The realization had struck her, and the desk that she had levitated had dropped soundly back onto the stone floor. She sunk to her knees, and the exhaustion she had felt earlier instantly came back.

"...why...why did you bring me here?"

There was a heavy silence between the two, and the only thing that she could hear was the autumn wind whistling outside of her window.

"If I told you the reason, you would never believe me."

His mysterious response produced more burning questions in her mind, and she stared up at him from the floor. His blue eyes continued to look back at her intensely, as if he had much to tell her but chose not to.

She was about to get up, but her legs protested in pain. The conflict with her inner hatred had left her with little to no strength.

He saw the painful expression on her face and he began to walk towards her again, but she immediately formed a barrier to prevent him from coming closer.

He drew back without saying a word, but to her surprise, his eyes had looked hurt.

"...you should get some rest," he finally said. "If you need anything, just tell me."

He walked away from her, but paused at the entrance of the room. "After four days, I will be able to take you back to your home. And if you still feel that it is necessary, then I will allow you to seal me back into the book."

His last words left her speechless, but he had left before she could say anything else.

Willing herself to get off the ground, she climbed back onto the comfort of the bed. She curled into a ball onto the mattress, not bothering to pull the blankets over her body.

Her captor had left her in a state of uneasiness. If he truly was Malchior, why would he go through the trouble of taking her with him if he was able to free himself? What purpose would she have to him if he broke the curse himself?

Even more confusing, why was he willing to let her send him back to the book that he was trapped in for more than a thousand years? Was it just another lie to let her guard down?

...and what was that pained look in his eyes all about? Had he actually felt hurt that she refused to let him get near her?

Her head was throbbing even more now. The questions would have to wait until the morning; nothing would be answered if she stayed up wondering about them.

Whether this man was Malchior or not would be determined later. Within a few minutes, the whispers of the autumn wind and the shifting ocean waves had lulled her to sleep.

* * *

Beast Boy yawned, sitting contently in his seat. "Great breakfast, as always!"

"Yes, it was quite good!" Starfire beamed as she washed the spare dishes that Raven hadn't broken. "Thank you for cooking, Beast Boy!"

"Man, that wasn't a real breakfast!" Cyborg complained. "How can you live off that tofu stuff?"

"Y'know Cyborg, one day you'll realize that meat does nothing but clog up your arteries and then you'll be begging me to cook your meals!"

Cyborg just stared in disbelief at the green changeling. "Uh-huh. I'd rather have that little Gizmo freak mess up my circuits again before forcing myself to eat tofu for the rest of my life."

"By the way, where is our friend Raven?"

Robin was gathering up the shattered mess that their teammate in question had left in her wake into a garbage bag. "Probably sleeping. I wished she would've cleaned up the kitchen before she meditated."

"She's probably mad that she didn't come with us last night," Beast Boy remarked. "But I saved her some candy from the party, so she'll cheer up!"

"Don't do anything to tick her off again," Robin said cautiously.

"Dude relax, I'm just gonna give her some candy! Even someone as moody as Raven can't turn down sugar!"

Beast Boy got out of his seat to retrieve the bag of candy that he had scavenged from the celebration last night. With a big grin on his face, he knocked on the violet-haired girl's door.

"Yo, Raven! Time to get up!"

Silence answered him, but he was undaunted and knocked louder. "Hey, don't be upset that you missed out on an awesome party! I saved some candy for ya!"

Once more, there was no answer. Growing a bit agitated, the changeling took grasp of the door. To his surprise, it had slid open; Raven usually kept her door locked.

Brushing it aside, he marched into her room. "Hey Raven, wake up already—"

The bed was unoccupied and the room was empty. There was no cloaked figure levitating a few feet above the floor, and no eerie chanting.

And more bewildering, there were no death threats for coming into the room uninvited.

Puzzled, Beast Boy left Raven's room and went back to his teammates. "Guys, she's not in her room."

Cyborg gaped at him. "You went into her room and she didn't kill you?"

"Yeah, weird isn't it?"

"Maybe she's on the roof meditating." Robin proposed logically as he tied up the garbage bag.

"But she usually shows up at breakfast," Beast Boy replied.

"He is right," Starfire agreed, concern tingeing her voice. "She comes to the kitchen to drink her herbal tea every morning, does she not?"

"Guys, I'm sure she's somewhere in the tower," Robin reassured them.

Beast Boy looked doubtfully at the Boy Wonder, but he said nothing. The bag of candy still in hand, he left the room and made his way to the rooftop, hoping that he would find Raven meditating there.

* * *

Her eyes fluttered open, expecting to wake up in the dreary darkness of her room. When she found the stone walls and ceiling, however, the events that transpired the day before played back in her mind.

Sitting up, she stretched her arms. Her head was still aching, but not nearly as bad as it was last night. She walked over to the window and pulled back the draperies to take a look outside.

The sun was bright as its rays poured into the room, and the trees beneath it bathed in the light.

She rubbed her temples with her fingers. Although the scenery was a nice change, she had other things to worry about.

Judging by the sun's position, it had to have been noon. Raven wasn't one to sleep in late, but it wasn't everyday that she was on the verge of losing control of her emotions or that a warlock teleports her from her home to the middle of nowhere...

Upon memory of the silver-haired wizard, she looked away from the window and left the room. She entered a vast, winding hallway that was lit by torches that were placed on the walls. Her light steps echoed through the empty halls as she searched for her captor, determined in getting the answers that she was deprived of.

* * *

The movements of the ocean waves were graceful and harmonious under the noon sun. The sounds of the water and the scent of the crisp air were things that he sorely missed during his imprisonment, and he took another moment for his eyes to take in the beautiful scenery once more. He had never remembered how endless the ocean depths seemed to be, or how melodic the sound of the waves was as they shifted and crashed onto the waiting shore.

He left the castle entrance and followed the winding path that led to the shore. His steps were uneven and awkward; he was more exhausted than he had thought after teleporting last night. Not only was his magic limited, but his physical strength was affected as well. The muscles in his legs and arms were throbbing with pain, but he ignored them. It had been so long since he had stood on those shores that his longing outweighed the physical state he was in.

He cautiously walked down the path that led to the beach. However, he had lost his balance and fell off the path, hitting the pebbles soundly.

The pain shot up through his body, and he stifled a groan as he tried to get back up.

"How can I expect you to teleport me back home when you can't even walk a few steps without falling on your face?"

He looked up to see the cloaked figure of a girl hovering above him. His pride suffered a more damaging blow due to her remark, but he shook it off and sat up from the ground.

* * *

She watched him as he gripped his right knee tightly with his hands. Although he still wore his long black scarf, she didn't have to see his entire face to know that he was in pain.

For some reason unknown to her, she pitied him. Perhaps it was the fact that being stuck in a book for longer than a millennium could do things to your coordination, or perhaps it was because she didn't like to see people in pain.

Whatever the reason, she soundlessly landed next to him on the ground and knelt beside him.

"Move your hands," she commanded.

He looked at her in confusion and asked, "What do you plan to do?"

"Just trust me."

Without another word, he did as she said. Her slender hands covered up his knee, and she closed her eyes in concentration. Her hands were engulfed in dark energy, and she focused on absorbing the wound. The pain channeled from his knee and into her being, but she didn't even grimace.

After the spell was finished, her hands left his knee. When she looked at him again, she found his ice blue eyes staring at her in wonder.

"...what?" she asked, growing uneasy as he kept looking at her.

"I did not know that you had the ability to heal others," he replied.

She stood up from the ground. "There's a lot that you don't know about me."

Sensing the slight hostility in her voice, he didn't push the subject any farther. "In any case, you have my thanks."

She felt her cheeks growing warm, which made her all the more thankful that she had her hood on. "It was just a simple spell. Anyway..."

Her hands emitted dark energy once more, and she had entrapped the unsuspecting wizard with a chain of black magic just as she did the night before.

"I have a lot of questions that need to be answered." She stated monotonously.

He looked at the black energy that bound him, and back at her. "Is this really necessary?"

"Why, do you have something to hide?" she asked suspiciously.

He sighed in defeat. "No."

Satisfied with his consent, she began. "First of all, where is this place?"

"In England. As I told you before, my family has owned this castle and this land for generations."

The question of her current location being answered, she moved on. "If you're not Malchior, then who are you?"

He noticed the tinge of sadness in her voice when she spoke the dragon's name, but he answered, "My name is Rorek. I come from a lineage of wizards."

"According to the book, you're supposed to be dead," Raven cut in.

"My physical being died the day I sealed Malchior into the book, but not my soul. Lady Raven, you of all people should know that whenever one casts a spell, the process requires a part of the spiritual self in order to be successful. I put my entire soul into the curse I used to defeat Malchior, so what was left of me afterwards was an empty vessel."

"...but what caused you to reawaken after a thousand years?" she questioned, becoming intrigued while at the same time keeping him entrapped in her spell.

"Like I said, I put my entire soul into the curse, and when Malchior went into the book, so did I without actually being aware of it. I died thinking I had defeated him, but when he had awakened, so did I."

"If your soul woke up when he did then..." she trailed off, a distant look clouding her dark eyes.

He was puzzled by the sudden change in her mood. She didn't have much difficulty asking him questions before, so what had made her hesitant now?

"...why didn't you tell me?" she finally asked. "If your soul was alive, why didn't you warn me about Malchior's true intentions?"

He had looked apologetic, which threw her off guard. "My soul was at rest because I thought that I had fulfilled my purpose. I did not think that he would spend a millennium plotting his escape, nor did I consider the possibility that this book would find its way to you."

His blue eyes stared at her again, and the feeling of uneasiness had returned. "My soul had been asleep for a thousand years whereas Malchior had been awake. When I sensed that he had been resurrected, I awoke. I did try to warn you, but he had overpowered me. He knew that I too was awake, and he made certain that I would not get in the way of his plans."

She was speechless as she listened. She was so overwhelmed with the information that her concentration had faltered and she released him from her spell. She looked away from him and her face cast downwards toward the pebbles on the ground.

"...I am sorry."

Her eyes widened and she gaped at the wizard in response.

"I knew what he said to you," he continued. "I knew that he deceived you into thinking that he was a virtuous man. Tried as I might, I could not stop him from manipulating you, and for that I am truly sorry."

Raven continued to stare at him in bewilderment. He shouldn't have to be the one apologizing! If anything, it was her fault that she let herself be tricked into releasing a dragon bent on world domination, not his.

...and why did he have to keep looking at her with those blue eyes of his?!

"Lady Raven, are you all right?"

She turned away from him, overwhelmed with the information she had just learned. "I need to be alone."

Rorek or anyone else couldn't have stopped her. In an instant, she had disappeared in a flash of dark energy.

_AUTHOR'S NOTE_

_Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story and review afterwards, it really does mean a lot to me. In fact, I'm glad that I'm getting any reviews at all! I'm glad that there are people who enjoy this story, and I hope you guys continue to read it. I know everything is going pretty slow at the moment, but hey, I'm building a plot! Don't worry though; I plan to take this story places and I think you all will be pleased with the results...at least I hope most of you will be. _

_Anyway, thanks for reading! _


	4. Trust

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter Four: Trust

She floated in an abyss of nothingness. Her bonds had been severed from reality, and the eternal hands of time had stopped. The silence of this place was all-consuming, and the darkness stretched out to unknown horizons.

Anger, sorrow, happiness...she felt neither one. Her mind was at a state of peace. The conflicting emotions beneath her seemingly indifferent countenance were at harmony, at least for the time being.

Without warning, the silence gave way to the sounds of the ocean waves, and she could feel a cool breeze wrapping itself around her. Patches of light began to disrupt the reigning darkness, and she was slowly drifting away from the abyss...

The sound of her stomach growling had brought her back to earth. Because she was used to intense meditation, fasting was something Raven could deal with.

But even after two days and two nights without having anything to eat, she was bound to get hungry.

She stopped levitating and landed on the ground. The cliff that she stood on overlooked the glistening ocean and the formations of jagged rocks that jutted from the waters. The ocean wind whistled through the strands of her short hair as she made her way back to the castle. Even if only two days had passed, it seemed that the temperature had dropped. She pulled her cloak closer to her until she entered the castle. Although the hallways were still cold due to the fact that there was no such thing as heaters in the middle ages, the torches still provided some warmth.

Raven only knew where the entrance was and the location of her room. She had avoided Rorek since she had last spoken to him on the beach that one afternoon, so she had to find her way around this castle herself. She knew that she could very well ask him, but she felt uncomfortable about it. Even if she did want to ask him, he was nowhere to be found. It seemed that he had taken every precaution to stay out of her way as well.

After wandering around the intricate maze of hallways, she had found a room with a fireplace built in it. An iron cast cauldron hung on top of a pile of ashes and unused wood. There were cabinets and cupboards lined with dust, and a basin stood against the wall. A long table was in the center of the room along with several chairs.

Seeing how the kitchen was probably never used for a thousand years, the possibility of finding any edible food was nonexistent.

Raven felt her eyes beginning to water and she had the urge to sneeze. It must have been from all the dust that blanketed the entire place. She was used to living in dirty conditions because Beast Boy and Cyborg were her roommates, but stacks of unclean dishes and the changeling's toenail clippings on the coffee table couldn't compare to this.

She spotted an old broom and bucket in the corner of the kitchen, and she decided to get to work.

* * *

He watched her cloaked figure follow the path back to the castle. The ends of her cape billowed in the ocean breeze, revealing her slim figure underneath. A stray strand of her hair swept across her young face, but she brushed it back with her hand. Soon, she disappeared from his view as she entered the castle.

Rorek looked away from the window since there was nothing outside to keep his interest. For the past three days, he had stayed in his room and watched the empath meditate at that very same spot on the cliff that protruded over the beach. Her body would hover for countless hours until nightfall, and then she would go back to the castle to rest.

He didn't know any women from his era who showed the same self-discipline that the girl had. Then again, she was very different to begin with.

He was concerned when she had said that she wanted to be alone. He was not sure how she would handle what he had told her, so he obeyed her wish. Although he could understand why she would need some time by herself, he did not comprehend how meditating for two days straight would make the situation any better. He felt frustrated that he could not do anything to help her, for that was partially the reason that he had wanted to break the curse that bound him to the book.

His hand involuntarily went to his knee, which brought back memories of that one day. That was when she had used her powers to heal him. Her hands were warm as she cast her spell, but her face was so expressionless, even during the time she took to interrogate him.

He was aware of the means she had to go to in order to keep her emotions from slipping out of her control, but how could she live without even allowing herself to be happy or sorrowful? A life of watching people express their emotions when you cannot risk doing the same must have been a heavy burden on her shoulders.

His hand left his knee, and he closed his eyes and murmured a spell. White bolts of energy encircled his right arm, and then they disappeared after a few moments. Once again, he was regaining his strength and if his guest wished it, he would send her back home tomorrow.

...and if she still wanted to, she could seal him back into the book. Rorek had always been a man of his word, and this time was of no exception.

* * *

Usually, the cooking was left to Cyborg or Beast Boy. Raven wasn't picky about her food, and she could even tolerate one of Beast Boy's tofu dishes on occasion. However, she had never done anything that was culinary related save for boiling a kettle of water on a stove.

But hunger would drive you to cook your own meals as Raven had found out. While she was cleaning the dust-covered kitchen, she had discovered an old, thick booklet filled with recipes. She figured that if she had a guide of some sort she was less likely to burn down the castle.

She had chosen a recipe that looked the easiest, which had directions to cook a type of soup. The produce that it required were obtained by whatever she found in the garden in the back of the castle. How there were vegetables and herbs that weren't even in season yet that were ripe for the picking was something she decided to think about later. There was also a well in the garden that she used to get the fresh water for the recipe.

She had cut up everything and boiled the water in the cauldron. She added the vegetables and herbs like the recipe said, and now she was just waiting as the soup simmered.

So far, the soup had smelled decent. Feeling brave, she dipped a ladle into the soup and tasted. She blinked, and found that it wasn't half bad. It didn't taste anything like the concoctions that Starfire created, which was a big plus.

"Lady Raven..."

The smooth English voice sounded behind her, and sure enough the wizard was there with a look of astonishment on his face.

"I see that you've found the kitchen."

"It's not a problem, is it?"

He shook his head. "No, of course not. Please, make yourself at home. I'm afraid that I've been a rather poor host for not providing you anything to eat during your stay."

She shrugged, stirring the soup. "It's not a big deal. I can take care of myself."

Another tense silence settled between them as the soup bubbled. Raven stole a glance at him from the corners of her eyes. He did look a bit better after a few days of rest, but exhaustion still wore at his features.

She bit her lip, and then said, "It's about ready. If you get two bowls and spoons out, I can start serving it."

He gave her a guilty look. "I cannot, I did not even help you prepare it—"

"You're not going to get any better if you starve yourself," she reasoned. "You have to eat something."

Hesitating a bit, he finally went over to the cupboards and got out two bowls. Walking over to her near the cauldron, he handed her one of them and she filled it with the soup. He gave her the second one and she had done the same. For a short moment, the flesh on their hands brushed against one another's, and Raven felt her stomach doing flips.

Hurriedly turning away from him and doing her best not to express alarm, she rationalized the strange sensation by convincing herself that she was hungrier than she thought. She set the bowls onto the table, and Rorek took a seat across from her, placing the spoons between them as he did.

"It smells wonderful," he remarked.

Not being used to comments, especially about her cooking skills, Raven brushed it off and didn't say anything. She reached towards the center to get a spoon, but before she could even begin eating, something had stopped her.

Her eyes latched onto the wizard who was across from her, the spoon falling back onto the table with a clatter.

He had removed his scarf, revealing a perfectly sculpted nose and jaw line and a pair of thin lips. His face was unblemished and handsome, and in short, he certainly didn't look like he had been trapped in a book for a thousand years.

Raven could feel herself slightly blushing as she continued to stare at him in awe.

"Lady Raven, are you all right?"

Snapping back to her senses, she quickly retrieved her spoon and cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She began to eat, and when he saw her doing so, Rorek started to.

"It tastes as good as it smells."

Her cheeks were getting warm again, but she did her best to keep her impassive expression. "It wasn't hard to make."

"Still, it's very good," he replied.

She said nothing, hoping that they could continue their dinner in silence. She wasn't accustomed to getting compliments, especially from an attractive boy. Eating as quickly as she can, she got up as soon as she was finished and abruptly left the kitchen before Rorek could stop her.

Upon seeing his entire face for the first time, she could feel her stomach tying itself in knots.

"What's happening to me?" she asked herself. The way she had acted back there was something that she wasn't very comfortable with, especially after she had just undergone almost three straight days of uninterrupted meditation.

Her heart still pounding and her mind in a state of restlessness, she decided that she needed to meditate more. She left the castle and returned to her spot on the cliff that overlooked the vast ocean. The crescent moon smiled at her from its corner in the black sky, and the ocean wind swept through her cloak and her hair.

She levitated above the ground and crossed her legs. Her hands rested at her sides, and she took a deep, calming breath. Her mind somewhat at ease, she closed her eyes and began chanting.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos...Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

The chant loomed in the night air as she meditated, and she could already feel herself becoming more tranquil. The strange feelings that she was experiencing began to subside, and she was again under the peaceful trance of meditation.

Until, of course, she had heard footsteps behind her.

"Lady Raven?"

She sighed irritably and stopped levitating. Putting her hood over her face, she turned around to face her host.

And to her surprise, she felt slightly disappointed that he was wearing his scarf again.

"What is it?"

"You just left in such a hurry. Is everything all right?"

"I told you before, I'm _fine_."

She turned her back on him, trying to be interested in the ocean below her instead. However, even the majestic movements of the water couldn't ease her anxiety. Raven expected to hear footsteps pacing back to the castle, which would indicate to her that he was going to leave her alone.

However, she heard no such noise. He was still standing motionlessly behind her.

"Why are you still here?" she asked.

"Forgive me, but may I ask you something?"

"If I answer it, will you leave me alone?"

There was silence, but then he replied, "If you wish me to."

"Then what's your question?"

"...why do you dislike me so much?"

She was taken aback by the sheer bluntness of his question. "What?"

"The past couple of days, it seemed that you have gone to every mean to avoid me. Is it because you dislike me?"

"It's not a matter of disliking," she snapped.

"...then is it a matter of trust?"

Not even Starfire was this straightforward. As if he hadn't caused her so much agitation tonight already!

...but why would he care whether or not she trusted him? What would it matter?

"I apologize," he spoke again. "You have already answered my first question. I will leave you alone as I said I would."

She could hear him leaving now, but the questions that ran through her mind refused to let him go.

Turning around, she questioned, "Why did you bring me here in the first place?"

He halted in his steps, and he looked back at her.

"You had a reason, didn't you?" she prodded. "Tell me what it is."

The faint moonlight illuminated his long mane of silver hair, and his crystal blue eyes stared at her from under his long bangs. Her heartbeat had increased a bit at the sight, but she did her best to disregard it.

"...I brought you here because I want to help you."

Her resolve to maintain her emotionless appearance crumbled right then and there. Her eyes had shown her disbelief; she was sure of it.

Much to her relief, Rorek didn't comment on it and continued. "Lady Raven, I know that you have been trying to suppress your emotions for fear of losing control over them. I know that what Malchior has done to you runs deeper than any flesh wound ever could."

Before she could even protest, he had cut her off. "The night that I had broken your curse, you were in danger."

Her dark eyes widened and were suddenly transfixed on him.

"Ever since you sealed Malchior back into the book, I have sensed it. There was a demonic presence that wanted to take over you, and you were trying to fight it."

Memories of a taunting voice and a whirlwind of dark energy crossed her mind. She remembered feeling helpless, feeling as if her mind had snapped in two and there was a darkness that had tried to suffocate her...

"You are trying to fight it even now, are you not?"

She stared at him, both of them knowing very well what the answer was.

"Like you, many people were victims of Malchior," he said. "He has broken many lives beyond repair, and I was unable to stop him because I had failed to slay him."

She sensed the bitterness in his last words, and she noticed that his hands had tightened into fists and were slightly shaking at his sides.

"Lady Raven..." he finally spoke, "I want to help you, and I will do everything in my power to do so if you allow me."

No more words were exchanged, and Raven's eyes left him and returned to the view of the ocean. She said nothing and listened as he walked back to the castle, his footsteps fading away in a matter of a few minutes. She was left alone again with her thoughts as her only company.

As much as she hated to admit it, Rorek was right. Although she had defeated Malchior, feelings of animosity and frustration still lingered after his betrayal. She had to spend more time meditating to keep her emotions in check, and she became more withdrawn from her friends than she normally was.

There was something that was slipping away from her control, and she feared that if it did, she would be unable to restrain it.

But how could Rorek help her? More importantly, how can she trust him when she didn't know him and vice versa? If there was a way that he could help her, what did he intend to gain from it?

...then again, Rorek didn't give her any reason not to trust him. If he truly was Malchior, he could've transformed into a dragon and continue his plans of world domination. And as she had concluded earlier, she would be of no use to Malchior if he was able to free himself from the book.

Taking another deep breath, Raven left her spot on the cliff and drifted downwards onto the beach. Her blue boots lightly padding across the wet pebbles, she walked along the shore while the water lapped at her feet.

She had a lot of things that she needed to think about.

* * *

He awoke early in the morning. He looked out his window and saw that the light of the dawning sun was just beginning to eat away at what was left of the night.

This would probably be the last time that he would see the sunrise. Four days have passed, and he promised the empath that he would send her back home.

Even if she decided not to accept his help, he would hold no resentment for her. He still hated himself for not being able to kill Malchior a thousand years ago, and she did not blame her if he had hated him as well.

He was not lying when he said that he wanted to help her. He knew the damage that Malchior was capable of. In fact, many people found it difficult to recover from what he had done to them. There were even some who did not recover at all.

He did not want her to be like that. He did not want her to spend the rest of her life carrying scars that will never heal, not when there was so much for her. He did not want her to suffer the fate that so many have experienced at Malchior's hands.

With one last look at the dawning sun, he left his room and headed downstairs. Perhaps he could enjoy a walk on the beach before he would have to teleport his guest back to her home.

When he had reached the beach, he found the young girl standing at the edge of the water already. She was still wearing her long cloak, but her face was not hidden underneath her hood like always.

"Good morning," he greeted her.

She returned his greeting, but there was something that told him that she had something more important to say.

"I have fully recovered, and I am ready to take you back whenever you want—"

"I need to talk to you."

He was surprised at her directness, but recovered quickly. "What do you wish to talk about?"

Her round, amethyst eyes glistened gently in the sun's faint rays as she looked at him silently before speaking again.

"I've decided not to go back just yet."

His eyes widened at her remark. "Does that mean...?"

"You said that you would help me, right?"

He nodded solemnly. "Of course. I swear on my honor that I will."

"You understand that if you betray me—"

"If I do any such thing, you can drown me in this very ocean."

She regarded him silently with her dark, mysterious eyes and said, "Then I'll hold you to that."

He knew that she was not being amusing, but neither was he. However, despite the seriousness of the situation he could not help but feel that her acceptance of his aid was a sign that she was gradually beginning to trust him.

A small smile formed from underneath the black cloth of his scarf at the thought.

"Oh, and another thing."

"Yes?"

She looked at him gravely with the blank expression he was already familiar with.

"Just call me by my first name from now on."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Yay, another chappie completed!

Hehe, thanks again for your support everyone! I'm really happy that people like reading this story 'cause I've put a lot into it!

Oh, and Kanaye, I know about the whole debate about whether or not Malchior or Rorek was the one who deceived Raven. Although I respect your opinion, I believe that it was Rorek, and that's how it's going to be kept in my story. I mean no offense to you or anyone else, but I thank you for your criticism and your kind words.

Until next time, take care everyone!


	5. Your Eyes

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter Five: Your Eyes

"Any luck, Star?"

"I am afraid not," the alien answered gloomily as she stood over the city from the roof of a ten-story building.

"How about you, Cyborg?"

"Nope, she's not on this side of the city."

"She's not here either," the Boy Wonder said over the intercom.

"Don't tell me you guys are gonna give up!" a voice screeched.

"Man, I'm just as worried about Rae too," Cyborg assured him, "But we've been looking for her all over the city for two weeks now."

"So?!" the changeling protested. "That doesn't mean anything, we have to keep looking for her!"

"I agree with Beast Boy," Starfire said. "If either of us were missing, Raven would not give up."

"I'm not saying that we should give up," Robin tried to pacify his team members. "But Cyborg is right; we've searched every inch of the city and Raven's nowhere to be found."

"Then what _are_ you saying?" Beast Boy prodded.

"I'm saying that we might be looking in the wrong place," Robin replied. "Maybe Raven isn't here at all."

"Well it's not like she went off on her own!" Beast Boy insisted. "She didn't bring any of her stuff with her!"

"And people do not vanish into thin air," Starfire added.

The Boy Wonder sighed heavily. "Guys, I know that. But think about it for a second. Raven's not exactly a materialistic person. And she left her communicator in her room."

"And her locator's not working either," Cyborg cut in, referring to the gem that the empath wore on her cloak. "The scanners aren't picking up her signal. It's offline."

"What if she was kidnapped?" the Tamaran asked, her concern apparent in her voice."

"Who could breach the security system and have access to the tower besides the five of us?" Robin rationalized. "There weren't any signs of a struggle in her room, either."

"So you think she ditched us?!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"She didn't 'ditch' us, Beast Boy. Maybe she...went away for a little while."

"Preposterous!" Starfire cried. "Raven is our friend! If she had any predicaments, why did she not seek aid from one of us?"

"...Star, Rae's not exactly the type to share her feelings. And she's been acting really weird since she saved us from that dragon."

Beast Boy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Raven wouldn't leave without saying good-bye. And if she did, where would she go to?

"Starfire, Beast Boy," Robin addressed them. "I'm worried about Raven as much as the both of you are. But we've looked everywhere for her."

"Then we have to look outside of the city!" Beast Boy shouted into his communicator.

"Where would we start?" the leader questioned. "Even if she was kidnapped, we wouldn't have any idea where she would be. And it's not like we can leave the city to look for her either. It's our job to protect the people here."

"But what about Raven?!" Beast Boy yelled. "Who's going to protect _her_?"

"Raven's smart, and she's proven more than once that she could take care of herself."

The green boy fell silent, too frustrated with everything to even argue against his leader's logic anymore. He wanted to keep looking for the empath, despite what the majority of his team thought. But Robin was right; where would he begin to look for her?

"I'll contact Aqualad and Speedy to keep an eye out for her. Starfire, do you think you can relay the message to Tamaran?"

"Yes, I will inform Galfore right away."

"That's the best we can do. All that's left is to wait."

And as they waited for her, what was happening to Raven? Beast Boy feared the worst, but what could he do? He was a Titan, he was needed to defend Jump City.

But Raven probably needed them, and there was nothing that they could do to help her. All he could really do is hope that she would come back to the tower unharmed...

* * *

"Where are we going?" Raven asked, her voice echoing off the walls of the hallway.

"You will see," replied Rorek as he led her down the passage.

The wizard was acting mysteriously, but Raven continued to follow him. It has been a little more than two weeks since she had agreed to accept Rorek's help. Since then, he had been watching her as she meditated and cast her spells. His justification for observing her was that he needed to know more about her branch of the magic arts to understand what her powers were like. Raven obliged, even though she would feel uneasy sometimes knowing that his crystal blue eyes were watching her every move.

She brushed away the thought and suddenly realized that Rorek had stopped at a pair of doors. His hands pushed against them, and with a loud creak, they opened.

Even though she prevented herself from smiling, she couldn't help but let her mouth hang open in wonder.

The doors revealed a two-level library. There were two winding staircases that connected both floors of the room. On each level were countless books of all sizes arranged on bookshelves that stood in almost endless rows.

"Whoa..." she commented quietly. This place was enormous! It was the biggest library that she had ever seen.

Rorek chuckled lightly at her amazement. "This is my family's library. We have kept spell books and ancient scrolls and documents from all over the country and beyond here."

Raven went over to a nearby shelf, and she examined the thick spines of the arranged books. She took one with an aged red cover and began leafing through its contents.

"That one might be a little advanced for you at the moment," the wizard said goodheartedly. "The books I really want you to read are on the first level."

He began to descend down one of the staircases, and she put away the book and followed him.

When they reached the lower level, she saw that there was a long, oak table that stood in the center. Rorek pulled out one of the chairs and looked to her. "Please, sit."

She did as he requested, and he immediately began searching through the bookshelves. Raven watched in interest as he walked the length of the room, taking out books here and there. Occasionally, he would put back ones that he found unnecessary and he began gathering several thick books in his arms. After a few more minutes, he went back to where she was sitting and placed the stack onto the table.

"We will be starting with these first," he stated.

"...you want me to read all of those?"

"I guess I have yet to explain my strategy to you," he said. "From what I have observed, I see that your emotions must be restrained to a certain limit when you cast your spells. You meditate to keep those emotions under control, am I correct?"

She nodded, and he continued, "Your form of meditation seems to work, but there is one flaw: your emotions are still left with no outlet, and so they remain suppressed unless you wish otherwise.

"The planes of magic that I have studied can offer you that outlet, however. Instead of restraining your emotions daily, there are spells that you can learn that allow you to channel them."

It had sounded almost too good to be true. A way to experience emotions by letting them loose? However, the cynical part of her surfaced quickly. "Don't you understand that my emotions are dangerous if they get out of hand? Learning a new form of magic is a bit risky, don't you think?"

"I still recommend that you keep up with your meditation, but I believe that this can truly help you, Raven."

She looked at the books and was silent. Rorek noticed her lack of enthusiasm and frowned slightly.

"What is the matter?"

"...someone else once taught me spells that were outside of my field of magic," she monotonously said.

He realized who she was talking about, and he suddenly looked apologetic. "I see. Please forgive me, I was being inconsiderate..."

Raven felt a twinge of guilt. He hadn't done anything wrong, and yet he was apologizing.

"There's nothing to forgive," she stated. "You didn't do anything."

"If you wish, we do not have to do this," Rorek offered. "I can think of another way to help you."

Raven suddenly regretted bringing up the subject of Malchior. Rorek was only trying to help her, and she was discouraging him. Technically, she supposed that his strategy made sense, and if she did continue to meditate, it would probably even work.

But she was still afraid of the possibility that she would lose control over her emotions. If she did, Rorek would be put at risk...

...then again, she was going to have to make sure that she was in control so that she wouldn't hurt anyone. Rorek said he was willing to do everything in his power to help her, and she accepted. He was right when pointing out the flaw in her daily meditation, and perhaps there will be a day when meditating would not be enough to restrain her emotions.

She would just have to trust him.

"No," she said before he had the chance to begin putting away the books. "I'd like to try it."

Rorek looked at her for a moment, and if his scarf was off, she could have sworn that he was smiling.

"All right then, we will start with this chapter first," he pulled up a seat next to her and placed a book in between them. He pointed out key points and explained the fundamentals as she read along.

* * *

Raven slowly turned the page with her thumb and forefinger. The candles next to her bed provided her with enough light for her eyes to skim over the words. She was finishing up where Rorek and her left off today, and they were nearly completed with the book. Another couple of weeks had passed, and she had already begun to learn much more complex spells that the wizard himself had difficulty to master.

She was actually looking forward to it. Rorek had proven to be the ideal tutor; he was very patient and explained things clearly. He was very encouraging as well, which Raven found to be helpful when she was learning a difficult spell.

She yawned and decided to finish the rest of the chapter in the morning. Closing the book, she placed it on the table next to her bed. Although she was tired, she found it difficult to sleep right away. She looked wistfully outside of her window as she sat on the side of her bed. The clouds were hiding the moon from view, and she could hear the wind whistling over the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach.

Raven decided to past her time by practicing a spell that Rorek had taught her. In a sense, it was similar to her meditation because it was meant to calm her. The difference was that it required an emotion that she had difficulty with: happiness.

She held out the palms of her hands and concentrated. In a few seconds, sparks of blue-white energy had formed above her palms. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on preventing the light from fading away.

"_This spell is neither defensive or destructive. When you are meditating, you seek to restrain all your emotions. You strive to feel nothing at all in your goal to achieve inner peace. In order to make this particular spell work, you have to focus positive energy into it."_

Rorek's words echoed through her mind as she attempted to keep the blue-white sparks alive.

"_And just how am I supposed to do that?"_

"_Simple. You only need to think of something that makes you happy."_

Starfire had told her the same thing when she was instructing her how to fly when they had switched bodies. Raven had succeeded, but only because the thought of the alien girl shutting up enabled her to fly. This spell was more complex than that however, and Raven was having difficulty trying to keep it from wearing.

Something that made her happy...she hadn't been that way for a while, and with good reason...

"_Concentrate on something that puts your mind at ease," Rorek elaborated._

Knowing that he was watching her was uncomfortable at first, but now it hadn't bothered her anymore. His eyes held both confidence and kindness in them that she believed she was never capable of. They were both haunting and compelling at the same time, and for some reason she thought they were the most beautiful shade of blue she had ever seen.

"_Hold on to that thought, and focus on weaving the spell."_

His calm, English voice would never discourage her, and would always support her when she was learning a new spell. Even if she had never noticed it before, his voice was soothing.

"_Allow that thought to take shape. Do not do anything to hinder it."_

He would lean next to her when he would explain something. The strands of his hair would graze softly against her skin, and sometimes his cheek would barely brush against hers. Having him that close to her, feeling the warmth of his breath tickle her skin was so comforting to her...

"_You only need to think of something that makes you happy."_

The sparks blossomed and illuminated the room, overpowering the faint flames of the candles. A brilliant mist of blue and white hung in the air. It began to take form, and before her eyes, a magnificent bird had taken shape. Its luminous wings flapped soundlessly and gracefully, and streams of cerulean light trailed from the tips of its feathers.

Raven had conjured her soul self to take the form of a bird many times before, but not like this. This was not the intimidating shape of a bird with outstretched wings of jet black energy. This was something more gentle, more serene. This was something that was simply...

"Beautiful."

Rorek's astonished remark had broken Raven's train of thought, and she allowed the form of the bird to disappear. The dazzling light had vanished, leaving the candles' flames to shine alone.

"That was amazing," he repeated, taking a seat next to Raven.

"It was nothing," she insisted, but Rorek refused to see it that way.

"No, it was truly magnificent," his eyes were smiling at her, and she felt her heart skip a beat. "But I guess I should not be surprised. You are a quick learner."

She blushed, and this time she knew he could see her. She didn't have her hood on, and she felt like kicking herself.

"It wasn't anything special," she mumbled uncomfortably.

"It was beautiful, Raven."

"No, it couldn't be," she answered sternly.

Rorek must have caught the hint of distress in her voice because he suddenly looked concern. "Why do you say that?"

"Because...I was the one who cast the spell," she replied, looking down at her hands. "There is nothing beautiful about my magic."

The fleeting moment of happiness and comfort that she had felt from casting the spell was instantly shattered. How could anything that Rorek said be true? Her powers were dangerous; she inherited them from the demon blood that was running through her veins. They could only be used to manipulate and cause destruction. There was no way that anything beautiful can come from her powers.

The feeling of him taking her hands into his own brought her back. His crystal blue eyes were staring kindly into hers, and all she could do was look into them.

"Raven...that is not true. I know that you are frightened of what your powers can do, but they are capable of wonderful things as well."

The cool touch of his skin was comforting, and she could feel her heartbeat quicken. But she couldn't look away from him; he kept staring at her.

"...why are you looking at me?" she heard herself ask stupidly.

"Because...I think that you have beautiful eyes."

Time seemed to freeze right then and there, and the world had stopped revolving. Rorek had said something that left her unable to act and unable to speak. He said that she was...beautiful. Something that she couldn't believe and at the same time, she didn't want to...

The silence between them became awkward, and she unwillingly slipped her fingers out of his hold. She didn't want to, but she felt that it was for the best. Now was not the time for her senses to be clouded over with emotions.

"We'll be going over the next chapter tomorrow, right?" she solemnly asked in an attempt to change the subject.

Rorek didn't answer right away, but the sadness in his eyes tore at her. In spite of that, he quickly recovered. "Yes, and then we could move onto another book."

"I'll see you in the morning, then," she said with a tone of finality in her voice.

"Good night, Raven," he feebly replied, and then he quickly left her room.

After he was gone, she blew out her candles and curled beneath the blankets of her bed. Ironically after all that, she found that she still couldn't go to sleep right away.

She felt guilty about treating Rorek so coldly, but she had to do it. She couldn't let him get close to her in that way. In the end, it would end the same way like it did last time, and she didn't ever want to experience that pain again.

Even if she was happy around him, even if being with him brought her comfort, she couldn't be with him. For her sake and for his, she couldn't allow herself to fall in love with Rorek.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**This chapter was shorter than I expected, but I feel that it was right to end it where I did. Thanks once again for all your support. You guys rock **

**In case you guys were wondering, I still have a lot of things I want to do to this story. Of course I hate to spoil anything, so I'll let you all see for yourself. Anyway, thanks a bunch for reading and keep an eye out for the next chapter!**

**Oh, and Happy Halloween! Bring a flashlight, look both ways before crossing the street, don't steal candy from little kids ('cause you know they can't put up a fight, you big meanie), and so on.**


	6. Kindness

My Only Love Sprung from my Only Hate

Chapter Six: Kindness

The winds were starting to bring promises of snowfall. The temperature in the waters had dropped dramatically, for they too were affected by the changing seasons. The treetops, once adorned with the scarlets and oranges of autumn, have become bare. Birds have begun to migrate in organized patterns across the skies, which were becoming grayer and bleaker with each day that passed.

It was the first week of December, and winter had arrived. Raven wrapped her cloak tighter around her, and she set off into the large garden that graced the back of the castle. A basket slung in her arm as she searched for vegetables that today's recipe had called for.

She spotted the leafy green tops of carrots sprouting from a patch, and she began gathering some. When she had unearthed them, she had noticed that the carrot was perfectly orange and normal in shape. The dirt that she had pulled them from was surprisingly dark and moist as opposed to hardened and frigid.

Raven might have not had much experience growing vegetables, but she knew that December was not the ideal month to harvest them. And yet the carrot in her hand was fine, despite the fact that the temperatures had plummeted.

"I thought I would find you here."

Her eyes went from the carrot to the tall, lean figure of Rorek. As usual, he was dressed in full armor and a black scarf partially hid his face from view. His long white hair was a bit disheveled, indicating that he had just woken up.

"Morning," she mumbled, pulling another carrot out of the ground. Again, she had obtained another vegetable that was perfect and fully grown. She looked to Rorek with questioning eyes, and figured that since he had lived here a millennium ago, she might as well ask him how this garden had the ability to defy the laws of nature.

"Could you possibly explain to me how your garden is still alive even though it's winter?"

Fortunately, Rorek didn't mind answering. "That is because every plant and flower in this garden is enchanted. My ancestors were self-sufficient, so they cast a spell that enabled them to harvest fruits and vegetables during any season."

"But wasn't there a town nearby that they could buy food at?"

A grimace appeared on Rorek's face, and the warmth in his blue eyes had suddenly died. The cruel winter wind whistled through the garden as Raven's curiosity was roused from the wizard's change in behavior.

"There was a small village that was an hour away from the castle," he replied in an unusually grim tone of voice. "But my family rarely went there."

Raven noticed the solemnity in his voice, and she caught the glimpse of grief in his eyes. Obviously, she had unwittingly brought up a subject that Rorek didn't want to elaborate on, and she didn't want to say anything more that would hurt him. She knew from experience that prying into other people's business was rarely a good thing; the incident in which Cyborg and Beast Boy had gotten themselves trapped in her mediation mirror is a prime example.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her concern for him evident in her voice. Even if she didn't want to force him to talk about anything he didn't want to, she was still worried about him.

Rorek looked at her and nodded reassuringly. "Yes, I am fine."

"Well, do you mind helping me with breakfast?"

"Not at all," he politely replied, and extended out a hand to help her up, which she accepted.

Afterwards, he seemed to be back to his normal self as they made small talk while preparing their meal. But in spite of that, Raven still caught the traces of sorrow in his eyes.

And for some reason, she was troubled by them all day.

* * *

She hugged her doll tightly as she stared into the foreboding darkness of the forest before her. Legend had it that people who have been foolish and courageous enough to walk into that place never came back. It was said that beyond the forest lived evil sorcerers whose idea of entertainment was torturing innocent people.

Although that was back in the Middle Ages when things such as witchcraft and roaming dragons were credible, many villagers still don't like to step as much as a foot into those forests. To go into them meant days of wandering around aimlessly without food or water. To go into them meant no one could ever find you.

And that was exactly what she wanted.

She didn't want anyone to see her. She didn't want anyone to talk to her. Not even her mother. She had no reason to stay at this place where everyone would look at her and then whisper behind her back. She didn't know if they were saying mean things or not, but they made her uncomfortable.

And her mother...she hasn't even taken a step outside of the house. All she does is sit next to her bed, crying until there were no more tears left to shed. She didn't notice her, she didn't even talk to her.

No one wanted her here. And that gave her all the more reason to leave this place.

Giving her doll another hug, she turned her back on the town and walked into the welcoming shadows of the forest.

* * *

Raven looked at the tiny spherical object in Rorek's open hand, and then to his eyes.

"So...what's that have to do with the spell you wanted to show me?"

"Watch," he instructed, and then he focused on the seed that was settled on his palm.

Raven's eyes observed the seed as Rorek recited a chant. Green sprouts instantly broke through the hard surface of the seed and continued to grow at an unnaturally quick rate. She let out a gasp of disbelief as the sprouts formed a long stem with thorns and leaves, and then later a red flower bud. She watched as the petals unfurled completely into a full-bloomed rose.

She gaped at the flower in Rorek's hand. "How did you...?"

"Everything on this earth has a beginning and an end," Rorek began to explain. As soon as the rose had blossomed in his hand, its brilliant scarlet petals began to fade and wither, and the stem had shriveled. "This spell allows one to control when either occurs."

The wizard repeated the chant, and the petals instantly became full and scarlet once more and the stem was green once more.

"You can manipulate time?" Raven asked.

"To put it simply, yes," he answered. "This spell is among the most complicated in sorcery, and it requires a lot of magic to cast it, even on a simple seed."

Rorek extended the rose to Raven with a meaningful look. She realized that it was for her, and she blushed as she took it from him.

"As I said, this spell is very complicated. But I know that you can master it, Raven."

Her cheeks were getting redder, she just knew it. Now he was encouraging her. It wasn't everyday that handsome young men gave her a rose and complimented her. Not since Malchior...

The fluttering in her chest stopped upon the memory of the dragon that deceived her. Even now she couldn't forget his treachery. Once again, her usual pessimism returned, and she stared at the rose in her hand.

Unbeknownst to Rorek, she was half-demon. There was no way that her magic could ever produce something this delicate.

"I can't create anything this beautiful," she spoke out loud. "I just can't..."

An ominous feeling suddenly struck her, causing her to drop the rose that Rorek had given her. She stood on her feet and tried to locate the source. After a few seconds, she could feel that something menacing spawning from the usually calm forest.

"What is wrong?" Rorek questioned her, noticing how uneasy she was acting.

"I sense something," she replied. "And I'm going to find out what it is."

She levitated from the ground and took off into the direction of the forest, leaving the bewildered wizard alone in the garden.

* * *

She ran as quickly as her feet could take her. Shadows flew by and the December wind whipped past her. She hugged her doll closely as she dashed through the forest, trying to outrun her pursuers.

She was too frightened to even look back. All she knew was that she heard the menacing growls and that meant that she wasn't running fast enough.

In her panic, her foot tripped over a protruding root and she tumbled onto the cold ground. Pain seared in her right knee from the impact, and her doll had flown out of her grip. She gritted her teeth and tried to pull herself up, but it was too late.

The wolves had already encircled her. They growled hungrily through their razor-sharp teeth, and she cowered before them. She whimpered, but she was too terrified to even move.

The leader of the pack, an intimidating creature with gray fur and yellow eyes, started to approach her. She whimpered as it came closer with each agonizingly slow second that went by. Before she even knew it, the wolf lunged toward her with its fangs intent to spill blood, and she closed her eyes and let out a petrified scream.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"

A female voice rang clearly through the air, and she heard bodies falling onto the ground and yelps of pain. She slowly opened her eyes to find the pack of wolves was sprinting away. And when she looked upward, she saw why they did.

A cloaked figure of a young woman was hovering in the air above her. A hood hid all but two dark eyes, and she whimpered again when she landed next to her.

"Are you hurt?" the woman asked in a grave tone of voice.

She moved away and tried to get up on her feet, but her wounded knee prevented her from doing so. The woman moved closer to her and she shut her eyes in fear.

"You don't have to be afraid."

She refused to look at her. This stranger must've done something terrible to chase away a bunch of starving wolves. And the fact that her face was enshrouded in darkness like everything else in this forest wasn't very comforting either.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the hooded woman stated. She wasn't very convinced, and she still kept her eyes tightly shut.

"...if I show you my face, will you feel better?"

She remained silent, but then she nodded in reply. She could hear the slight rustle of the woman's fingers removing her hood. After a few moments, she gathered up the courage to look at the face of the stranger who had saved her.

A pale, solemn face of an adolescent girl looked back at her, and she found that her serious voice made her sound older than she looked. The short purple hair and blue-violet eyes caught her by surprise as did the red gem on her forehead, but for some reason they seemed to fit this girl's features.

Her fear subsided after she saw her face, and she wasn't as frightened anymore. However, the pain in her knee returned again and she winced.

The older girl knelt down and placed her hands on her knee, and before her very eyes they emitted black fire. To her shock, she didn't feel like she was being burned, and the pain in her knee was suddenly going away. The girl's hands stopped glowing, and her dark eyes looked at her.

"Can you get up?"

She stood on her feet, still amazed that this stranger had somehow healed her. The older girl began to walk away from her, and she was kneeling onto the ground again. When she turned around, she saw that her doll was in her hands, and a small smile of relief lifted the corners of her lips.

"This yours?"

She nodded happily and took it from the stranger, holding it tightly against her chest. All fear that she had for the older girl had instantly vanished and she smiled up at her.

"We better get you back home," she said, and her words sank her lifted spirits. The smile disappeared and was replaced by a saddened expression.

"Do you know your way back?"

She didn't answer her. Instead, she looked downwards and just held her doll. The other girl was silent, too, probably angry or impatient with her. Maybe she'll just leave her where she found her and not look back...

"It's getting dark," she suddenly spoke. "If you're not going to tell me where you live, then you'll have to come with me."

Her head shot up and she stared at the older girl. Her face showed no signs of annoyance or frustration. Instead, she walked away, her soft steps echoing through the silence.

The stranger stopped, and turned her head towards her.

"Well? Let's go."

She followed the girl's orders and rushed to her side. She was convinced that this stranger was good, and although she would be what villagers would coin a "witch", she felt that she wasn't evil.

Still, one question was bothering her as she walked next to her in silence...

"What's your name?" she feebly asked, and the girl looked down on her.

"It's Raven," she answered. "What's yours?"

She gave her a small smile, and replied, "Emma."

* * *

"Raven!"

Rorek shouted her name, relieved when he made out her cloaked figure from the trees. He ran to her and was met with her usual blank expression.

"What happened?" he asked. "What did you sense—"

His blue eyes fell upon the small figure that was hiding behind the empath. He saw the two blonde braids and the pair of green eyes that peered at him from the safety of Raven's blue cloak.

"I'll explain inside." Raven told him, and she walked towards the castle with the little girl trailing right behind her. Rorek watched them, and he suddenly felt uneasy.

* * *

She watched Emma as she slept with the blankets curled around her. Her rag doll was lying next to her underneath her right arm, its coal black eyes staring back at Raven as its owner slumbered peacefully.

Her eyes left the girl and traveled to the rose that she kept in a small glass of water. When she had put Emma to bed, she went back to the garden and retrieved the rose that Rorek had given to her earlier. For some inexplicable reason, she wanted to keep it instead of leaving it in the cold where it would wither and die. There was something about it that made it almost precious, and she didn't know why.

The white-haired wizard crossed her mind, and she remembered telling him that she would explain everything to him. Surely he would want to know why she had brought a child to his castle.

Careful not to wake Emma, she left the room and closed the door behind her.

"So, how is our guest?"

She turned around to meet Rorek. "She's asleep. I guess you want me to give you some answers now."

"Please, if you would."

They went into a room further down the corridor. More books were stored here, but not nearly as much as the library had. The window had a view of the ever-shifting ocean outside, and the faint beams of the moon came in through the panes.

Raven felt a bit of a chill, and she pulled her cloak closer around her. In the instant that she did, a fire sprang to life in the fireplace, courtesy of Rorek.

"Sorry, it does get a bit cold in the castle during this time of year."

"You know how to keep a garden from dying in the winter, but you can't keep a castle warm?"

He chuckled. "I am a wizard, Raven. Not a miracle worker."

She allowed herself to grin as she settled closer to the fire with Rorek sitting at her side.

"What is the child's name?"

"Emma," she answered. "Her fear was what I sensed. She was running from a pack of wolves when I found her. It looks like she has been wandering around that forest for a day or so."

"...did she say where she came from?"

She noticed the slightly ominous tone in his voice, but she didn't comment. "No. I asked her where her home was, but she didn't answer me. I couldn't just leave her in the forest, so that's why I brought her here."

"I see."

"You said yesterday that there was a village an hour from here, right? It's most likely that she lives there."

That same look of despair flashed in the crystal blue pools of his eyes. After spending more than a month here at the castle, Raven could make out the wizard's expressions, scarf or not.

"If that is the case, then you should bring her back as soon as possible," he stated almost gravely.

The way he said those words...it was almost disturbing, and her concern for him from yesterday returned.

"For someone who fought a dragon single-handedly, I didn't think that you would be afraid of kids."

He chuckled again, and he stared off into the licking flames of the fire. "Fear...how I wish it were that simple."

She stared at him, worry etched in her features. This was a side of Rorek that she had never seen. Instead of the warmhearted young man she knew him to be, he looked like a weary soul who seemed haunted by something that refused to give him a moment's peace.

"Then again, there are few things in life that are," he said sadly, his eyes never leaving the graceful movements of the all-consuming flames.

* * *

Emma watched her hostess as she chopped up the tomatoes evenly with the knife she held in her right hand.

"Why don't you use just your powers to do that?" she asked.

"I don't need to waste my powers on something as simple as this," Raven replied.

"Oh..."

Raven looked at the girl and noticed the downhearted expression on her round face. She then looked at the doll that she held lovingly in her hand. She saw that one of the arms was barely hanging on to the rest of the body by the thin threads that bound it.

Putting aside the knife, she telepathically sewed the arm back together. Emma gaped in amazement as the thread came to life with dark energy and closed the opening. When she was done, there was no longer any stuffing hanging out, and the arm was perfectly attached once again.

"Thank you very much," Emma said with a big smile on her face.

"You're welcome," and Raven resumed chopping.

"I tried fixing her myself, but I always pricked my finger on the needle," the little girl chatted. "I asked my mommy, but she can't do anything anymore."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"'Cause, she's always so sad..."

Emma fell silent, and her sentence was left unfinished. Raven took note of how the vivacious girl had suddenly turned unusually somber, but she just continued chopping the vegetables.

However, the image of a woman with long dark curls and sorrowful eyes flashed in her head. She remembered hearing muffled cries and words of regret when she thought that she couldn't hear her. She remembered how her hair would cover her entire face when she would bury it in the palms of her hands. That woman was the one who had given birth to her, the one she had called 'mother'.

A small hand tugged at her cloak, and a pair of big green eyes looked up at her.

"Was your mommy always sad, too, Raven?"

The empath said nothing and took the cutting board to the cauldron, and she added the tomatoes to the boiling water. She felt the green eyes staring at her back, expecting her to give an answer.

"Yes," she finally replied. "And I think she'll always be that way."

Neither girl noticed the presence of the wizard outside of the kitchen.

* * *

A few days have passed since the arrival of their new guest. Wherever Raven went, the blonde girl was bound to follow her like a puppy. Surprisingly, Raven did not lash out at her. Of course there were times that he had seen her irritated, but now it was like she didn't mind the constant company of the child.

This morning was one of the rare ones where Emma was nowhere to be found near Raven. Rorek found her meditating in the garden, levitating in midair as usual. Although she hadn't been practicing her spell casting as rigorously as she did before Emma's arrival, she still made sure to keep up with her meditation.

These past days, Rorek was unable to talk to Raven as much as he used to. With Emma's constant presence and Raven's determination to continue her meditation, he hadn't said so much as a few words to her. A part of him sorely missed the time he would spend with her when he taught her new spells or was guiding her through another intricate spell book.

He wasn't envious of Emma, but rather he was envious of the _time_ she got to spend with Raven.

"You're always looking at Raven, Mister Rorek."

The tiny voice peeped, and he discovered that the child had snuck up behind him.

"Oh, good morning, Emma."

"Morning!" she returned his greeting cheerfully. "So why do you?"

"Why do I what?"

"Why do you always look at Raven?"

He could feel his face getting warm and he looked away from Emma, cautious to not look in the direction where Raven was meditating. "Um...that's quite personal."

"It is because you like her?"

He was certain that his entire face was red. Who knew that a child could ask such embarrassing questions?

"Raven has a rose in her room, you know," Emma continued, not waiting for an answer from Rorek, much to his relief. "She keeps it in water and puts it where it can see the sun. She looks at it a lot, and she takes really good care of it."

Despite his slight humiliation, a sense of happiness swelled inside of him from hearing what Emma had to say.

"You were the one who gave it to her, right Mister Rorek?"

"I believe that I have something of importance to attend to. If you excuse me..."

He didn't wait for Emma to excuse him and he kept himself from sprinting and prayed that Raven didn't hear anything.

* * *

She meditated and chanted over Emma's delighted giggles as she collected seashells from the lapping waves with her doll in one hand. She had gotten used to the girl's hyper activity; she was just like a miniature human version of Starfire.

But underneath the bubbly personality, Raven knew that there was something darker to the girl. From what she gathered, she suspected that Emma might have come from a broken family, or at the very least, experienced something tragic. That alone made her feel connected to the child.

Raven, of all people, knew what a broken family was like. She was born from one.

"Raven, Raven!"

Her eyes opened to see the mound of different seashells Emma had gathered in her arms.

"What?"

"The sun, it's sinking into the ocean!" she declared excitedly. "Come on, you're going to miss it!"

"I can see just fine," Raven assured her. She stopped levitating and allowed herself to be pulled near the edge of the water by Emma.

The sun was setting into the endless horizon of the blue ocean. Shades of light pink, violet, and orange painted the sky in distinct streaks, and already stars were beginning to awake. In a fiery blaze, the sun sank and gave way to the darkness of night. The shadow of the moon glowed faintly in the sky, and the stars shone brighter than ever from the black sky.

Her mother would always look at those stars when she wasn't crying. She remembered that she would stare at them for countless hours, as if she was seeking something that only the stars could provide. What that was, Raven never found out.

Was it redemption? Was it mercy? Or perhaps her mother was praying for a way that would relieve her of living with the burden of giving birth to a demonic child.

"Raven?"

"Yeah?"

"I can stay with you and Mister Rorek from now on, right?"

Raven's eyes widened and she gawked at the child, who smiled hopefully at her.

"Why do you want to stay with us?"

"Because, I like staying with you," she simply answered.

"...but what about your home? What about your family?"

The girl's smile vanished and she looked at the ocean, the waves shifting small pebbles and sand over her feet.

"I don't like my home," she started. "People are always looking at me. They always say things about me when they think I can't hear them. They've been doing that since Daddy died."

Comprehension dawned upon Raven as she listened to Emma, who she noticed was beginning to tremble.

"Ever since he went away, Mommy doesn't do anything anymore. She sits next to the bed and cries all day and night. She never notices me anymore. She doesn't know whether I'm home or not. She just cries..."

"That doesn't mean that you should run away, Emma," Raven attempted to talk sense to her.

"But I don't want to go back!" the girl shouted in protest, tears glistening in her jade green eyes. "I don't want people to keep staring at me! I don't want to go back if all Mommy ever does is cry!"

"You can't run away," Raven repeated solemnly. "And if your mother is crying, I bet it's over you."

"She probably doesn't even know I'm gone!" Emma said defiantly.

"You're wrong," the empath replied. "Think about what you're doing to her."

"I'm not doing anything," she pouted in the cruel, insensitive way that all children did.

"Yes, you are. She just lost her husband, and now she's lost her daughter. How do you think she's feeling right now?"

The girl was silent but she tried to keep the scowl on her face.

"Put yourself in her place. Someone you loved more than anything has just died. The only person that you have left has gone away without saying anything, and they haven't come back. You think the worst has happened, and you feel abandoned. You feel like you've got nothing left in this world to live for because everyone that you cared about is gone. Is that honestly what you want to do to your mother?"

The scowl disappeared and large, gumdrop tears began rolling down her face. Raven was anything but happy at the sight, but she was relieved that her words had gotten to her.

"...no," she cried. "I don't want to hurt Mommy...but I'm still afraid..."

"Why are you afraid?"

She sniffed several times, wiping the tears away, but to no avail. More just came forth.

"Do...do you think she'll hate me?"

Raven shook her head. "No. She couldn't ever hate you."

Her own mother had always looked at her with fear, anxiety, and sadness...but never hatred. Raven knew what hatred looked like, and her mother never looked anything like it.

"She won't hate you. I think she'll just be happy to see you."

A cry erupted from Emma's throat and the tears flowed steadily from her eyes. Without warning, she threw her arms around Raven's waist and cried into her cloak.

A bit shocked from her actions, Raven recovered and did something that she didn't think she would do again: she hugged back.

* * *

"I'm scared."

"You shouldn't be."

"What if she's angry?"

"She won't be."

The girl's feet shifted in the snow uncomfortably, and her green eyes traveled back to the empath.

The older girl knelt down to her height, and she held out her hand. Emma saw that a seed rested there, and she watched in awe as green sprouts magically burst forth from it. In a matter of seconds, the sprouts formed a stem and a bright yellow sunflower appeared in Raven's hands.

"Here," she gave the flower to Emma, "something to give to your mother."

Her lips formed another smile, and she hugged the empath. "Thank you, Raven. I'll see you and Mister Rorek again, won't I?"

Raven bit her lip, and she gently placed her hands on both sides of her head.

"...I'm sorry."

Her hands glowed with jet black energy as she cast the spell. She rarely altered people's memories, but the mind of a child was so simple and vulnerable that she had no trouble at all. She felt guilty, but she had to do this. To protect Rorek and herself and keep the village from going into an uproar, she had to.

No matter how bad she would feel about it afterwards.

Emma fell forward and Raven caught her. She gently placed her in the snow, the sunflower and her doll still clasped in her hands.

She heard footsteps approaching, and she quickly teleported herself out of view. When she was in the safety of the shadows, she saw a woman approaching Emma's unconscious form. Her hair was falling out of the loose bun she had worn it in, and there were dark circles underneath her green eyes. She shook Emma's small form, and Raven saw her eyes fluttering open.

Feeling that she had nothing more to worry about, she teleported back to the edge of the forest where the castle had stood.

Rorek was there to greet her.

"Well?"

"She's fine," she said, and they made their way towards the castle, their footsteps making tracks in the snow.

"I knew that you would master that spell," he remarked. Raven gave him a wary look. Had he been spying on her?

"I only wanted to make sure that you were fine."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I feared that someone might have seen you, but I'm glad that is not the case."

Raven decided to let the subject die there. It was always like Rorek to be worried about something.

She remembered how relieved and joyous Emma's mother had looked when she found her lying in the snow. She must've been so worried about her, for it appeared like she hadn't had a good night's rest for a while.

"Raven?" Rorek's voice brought her back. "Are you all right?"

"...she was so worried that her mother would be angry," she said abruptly. "But she was so happy to see her again. She was crying..."

Rorek said nothing, mainly because he didn't know what to say. But Raven didn't mind.

"I could relate to Emma. My mother didn't talk to me, and whenever she looked at me she was so miserable. People were talking about me behind my back all the time, and no one wanted to go near me. Not even my own mother. I was alone."

She didn't know what compelled her to confess all that in front of Rorek, but she felt a great need to say it. Raven expected him not to answer, or make an awkward joke or statement like her friends would have done if she even showed the slightest trace of emotion.

"You're not alone, Raven."

Her eyes met his, and somehow she knew that he was smiling underneath his black scarf. He was smiling at _her_.

"I will make sure of that," he stated.

She blushed, but her lips formed a shy, but genuine smile.

"Thank you."

* * *

He quietly slipped into her room, a thick quilt in his arms. He found her sound asleep underneath the comfort of her blanket. Wordlessly, he unfolded the quilt over her slender form without waking her.

A strand of her violet hair fell across her lovely face, and he gently brushed it behind her ear. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. He often wondered what she would dream about, but he never had the courage to ask.

His eyes spotted the deep scarlet petals of the rose that she kept in the vase near her window. He knew that it was inevitable that like anything else in the world, that flower would die.

But although the flower would fade away from existence, the way he felt about her wouldn't. He didn't know why, but seeing her smile was something that made him feel at peace, as if nothing could go wrong.

He pulled the quilt closer to her chin to make sure she would be warm during the night, and he silently left the room, her image of her smile still fresh in his mind.

He wanted to make her smile again. He wanted her to be happy, and he hoped that one day, she would realize that.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**...wow...nearly 15 full pages. That's a definite first.**

**Anyway, I know that this chapter is kind of weird, but I wanted it to be different. I hoped that you guys didn't find Emma to be annoying, but I created her for a reason. I think that although she doesn't talk about it, Raven has a lot of family conflict and I tried to show that here. Also, Raven's capable of being kind to people like any other Teen Titan, and I guess I wanted to show that through this chapter. **

**Oh, and I enjoyed writing the part where Emma was giving Rorek a hard time about Raven :p**

**I plan to make the next chapter about Rorek. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter, and I'll post up the next one as soon as I can! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. I really appreciate your support!**


	7. Ghosts

My Only Love Sprung from My Only Hate

Chapter Seven: Ghosts

One by one, they fell from the sky. Fragments of ivory drifted gracefully in the frigid wind as they descended to earth.

He held out his hand and caught one, its cold essence kissing his hand. He watched as the snowflake melted slowly and was nothing more than a drop of water. More and more snowflakes fell upon him, clinging to his white hair and the black fabric of his long scarf.

Although it was cold, he was numb to it. He just watched the lazy movements of the ocean waves as they repetitively washed over the smooth pebbles that made up the shore.

Winter brought much more than freezing temperatures and snowfall. It brought back much, much more than that. Memories would resurface, ones that he would rather not think about but couldn't help to. No matter how much he wanted to, he could _never_ forget about the past.

"Rorek?"

A soft voice that he was so familiar with brought him back to his senses. Standing a few feet away from him was Raven. Even though it was indisputably frigid, she didn't have her hood on, which was fine by him. He never told her, but he always liked seeing her face.

"Good morning, Raven," he greeted her.

"...you okay?" she asked, the concern for him evident. The fact that she was worried about him made him want to smile, but that feeling was outweighed by his guilt of bothering her with his detached behavior.

"Yes, I'm fine."

Her round, dark eyes studied him incredulously, as if she saw through his lie.

"Really, I'm all right. I just feel a bit tired."

He hated lying to her, but he hated making her worry about him even more.

"You should get some rest, then."

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine. Besides, we need to practice your spell casting."

"We can do that some other time," she said defiantly. "If you're tired, you need to go to bed."

"Please do not worry about me, Raven. I fear that I could not rest even if I wanted to. I would much rather help you perfect your spells."

To eliminate any doubts she might have, Rorek walked away from the beach and headed towards the castle, expecting the empath to follow him, which she did after a moment's hesitation.

Although she did not bring up the matter again, he felt terrible about lying to her.

* * *

Raven was sure that it was very well the middle of December. The plummeting temperatures and the frequent snowfall were proof of that. Although she wasn't exactly sure, she suspected that the holidays were approaching. Perhaps another couple of weeks or so, she estimated.

She could just picture Beast Boy raving on and on about presents and decorating the tower for the occasion. Cyborg would already be thinking about a great dinner; she knew that tofu could hardly suffice as a meal for the gargantuan Titan. Starfire, after remembering the Earth customs of Christmas, would be shopping for presents for everyone and possibly making one of her Tamaran dishes for them to share, which Raven was certain that Beast Boy and Cyborg would be sure to avoid like the plague.

The holidays even had an effect on their strict leader. Robin would be more lenient, and he wouldn't be bossing around the others to train as much.

Her eyes left the aged print of the thick spell book she had in her hands, and they fell upon the window. Frost clouded the surface, but she could still see the snow. There was probably a blizzard outside; she could tell by the way the wind was howling relentlessly and how steady the snow was falling.

In spite of herself, she sighed. Raven would be lying if she said that she didn't miss them. Even if life was hectic and she could hardly get a moment's peace at the tower, she still missed her friends. There were times that Beast Boy and Cyborg's pranks and mindless games would grate her nerves, and Starfire's attempts of getting her to socialize like a normal teenage girl were irritating, but that was just the way they were. She couldn't hate them for being themselves, and she was so used to the daily chaos that would ensue at the tower. There were even some occasions when she found her friends' antics to be quite amusing.

She knew that she would be in for a nightmare when she got back. They would all start flipping out in their own individual ways, and they would force her into an interrogation afterwards.

The reason she didn't so much as call them was because she was afraid. After what happened the night that Rorek freed himself from the book, she was wary of her powers. It was quite possible that she could have given in to the feelings of raw hatred. She could have unleashed hell upon the city, and her friends would be victims because she wouldn't be able to control the darkness that she tried so hard to suppress. In addition to that, she had a feeling that one phone call would not be enough to explain everything to them; they would be fussing and asking her countless questions before she could start to give them the answers they wanted.

Raven decided that now wasn't the time to go back; she couldn't take that risk. However, she would have a lot to tell them when she returned. She still didn't know how she was going to even begin to explain about Rorek...

The book rested in her lap as her thoughts wandered to him. He had been acting differently the past week. He didn't talk as much and he always had a distant look in his eyes while she was practicing her spells. Even at meal times, he was unusually quiet. When he wasn't mentoring her or eating, he spent a great deal of time at the beach. Even if it was snowing and the air was much colder, she would see him looking out to the ocean as if he was yearning for something that he had lost long ago.

She didn't have to see his face to know something was bothering him; the sorrow in his eyes told her everything.

She heard footsteps outside of her room. She assumed that it was Rorek coming back from one of his walks.

However, she listened closely. The footsteps didn't sound like Rorek's at all. The wizard's armor weighed him down, causing his footsteps to be heavy. These sounded small and light, almost like a child's...

Raven put aside the spell book and stood up from her bed. She opened the door of her room just enough for her to head to peek out into the hallway.

"Hello?" she called out. "Is that you, Rorek?"

The footsteps were the only thing that she heard. She received no verbal answer, but she could still _hear_ those footsteps.

And the most puzzling thing about it all was that she didn't see anyone walking.

Too curious to go back into her room, she decided to follow the footsteps in hopes that she would find the source. Relying on her hearing since vision was useless, Raven ran from hallway to hallway, the footsteps echoing in her ears. One path led to another, one corridor revealed one more. Even if she wanted to go back, she wouldn't know how: she was too lost in this maze to find her way.

The shadows taunted her from the walls as she passed more and more closed doors. The footsteps were close, yet she couldn't walk fast enough to catch up. It was very frustrating, but Raven continued to follow after them. These hallways couldn't go on forever; those footsteps _had_ to stop eventually.

As soon as she thought about it, silence reverberated in the hallways. Other than the shrieks of the winter wind outside, she heard nothing else. Raven went around another corner, and she found that the corridor finally stopped, and there was a door at the end.

This was where she heard the footsteps last, she _knew_ it. But there was no one here.

"How can that be?" she asked out loud. She knew what she heard, someone was walking these hallways and it _wasn't_ Rorek.

All of a sudden, she heard humming. It sounded like a woman's voice and it was faint, but it was there. It was coming from the other side of that door, and Raven could sense an unfamiliar presence from the room.

Before she could even approach the door, she felt a hand settling firmly on her shoulder. She let out a scream of fright and she whirled around to meet the questioning azure eyes of a certain white-haired wizard.

"Raven?" he addressed her.

Her heart stopped pounding in her chest and she regained her composure. "You scared me."

One look at Rorek told her that he went outside, yet again. Bits of snow still clung to his black scarf and bodysuit, and she could see a few entangled in his platinum hair. His eyes looked very weary, and traces of the cold winter air emanated from him and sent chills down her back.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to," he replied apologetically.

"It's okay," she said.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here at this part of the castle?"

"I thought I heard something," she quickly answered, trying to keep her voice as steady and monotone as possible. "And while I was trying to find it, I got lost."

"You should not be wandering around so late at night," he chided lightly. "Had I been asleep, I wouldn't have been able to help you back to your room."

"But you weren't asleep, were you?"

"That is not the case, Raven. You should not be walking aimlessly in the hallways."

"I wasn't 'walking aimlessly'," she retorted with a slight edge to her voice. "I told you, I thought I heard something—"

"Then you should have gotten me," he snapped, an uncharacteristic hint of solemnity in his tone.

"I'm not a child."

"For someone who makes such a claim, you are certainly _acting_ like a child."

"How could you say that?" she questioned, her eyes glaring at him. "You're the one who started this argument, not me."

"I AM **_NOT_** ARGUING WITH YOU!" Rorek shouted.

Raven's irritation gave way to bewilderment. Rorek was usually so good-tempered. Now, his eyes were glaring icily at her, and his hands were clenched into fists at his sides, as if he were going to strike something.

She had never seen him this way. And she didn't like to, either.

"I am _merely_ stating a fact!" he continued. "You shouldn't be wandering around the castle! You could have gotten lost, and I would not have been able to find you until the next morning!"

"Stop yelling at me!" she retaliated. "Why are you acting this way?"

"Because of your carelessness!" he shouted back. "You might have injured yourself and I would not have known!"

"I told you," she seethed through gritted teeth. "I am _not_ a child! I don't need supervision!"

"If you did get lost, I wouldn't be able to find you! Don't you understand, Raven?! I don't want anything to happen to you! I don't want to lose you...!"

Rorek trailed off, the fury in his eyes slowly fading. Raven, despite her anger, was blushing at his words. The wizard's head hung low, his bangs obscuring his face from her. She saw that his hands were resting limply against his sides now.

He looked up at her; the sorrow that she had noticed earlier clouded the crystal blue pools of his eyes. He looked saddened and desperate, like he was carrying great wounds that would never heal.

"I...I am sorry," he mumbled, all anger drained from his voice. "I...I just..."

Rorek didn't bother to continue his sentence, but he turned around and walked down the hallway. She followed him slowly, and neither of them said a word.

The way he looked at her...the emotion in his voice...what caused him to go from yelling at her to apologizing? Was she the cause of it all?

She stared at his back as they continued to walk. He wouldn't even face her now. She had a feeling that if she asked him all these questions, she wouldn't be getting any answers.

He stopped at the door to her room several moments after. Raven said nothing as she opened the door, and she was just about to close it until he spoke again.

"Raven..."

His voice was so soft, almost inaudible. The way he spoke her name was desperate...almost pleading. It pulled at her heartstrings, and gave her reason to listen to what he had to say.

"I am...I..."

He struggled with the words, and then he just gave up. He hurriedly walked away from her, and she was dumbfounded by his abrupt manner.

After she closed the door, Raven threw herself onto her bed. If that was how he wanted to be, then she'll let him. If he wanted to be complicated, if he wanted to not tell her anything, then why should she care?

Her eyes began to well up with tears, but she refused to shed them. He _will_ not get to her. She won't cry ever again, that was something she promised herself.

Still, the emotional night left her in a state of misery. She hugged her pillow tightly against her until she fell asleep.

* * *

A few days have passed, and she wasn't speaking to him. He hadn't seen her either, not even at meal times. When he went to the kitchen, there was a plate of food for him on the table, but it wasn't the same.

She was probably angry at him, and he couldn't blame her. He had the indecency to lose his temper and yell at her. He knew she was offended by his words, possibly even hurt. And when he tried to explain himself, when he tried to tell her everything he had been holding back from her...his efforts ended in failure.

And he was too much of a coward to attempt to talk to her again.

Whenever he thought about her, there was a sharp pain in his chest. It was quick and swift, like it was inflicted upon him by an invisible hand. Her soft voice and those deep amethyst eyes of hers lingered in his mind, and made him realize her absence all the more.

It hurt to think about her, but he couldn't help it. The worst thing about it was that the pain would simply not go away.

He coughed heavily, his breath forming a small cloud of heat in the cold air. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together. Even if it was turning out to be a harsh winter, he found himself at this beach every day and every night.

Until he was able to forget the pain, until he was able to let go of the past...he couldn't find peace within the castle walls. The only place that he was at ease was at this beach, or so he liked to believe.

He wanted to tell Raven, but he decided against it. He didn't want to put that burden on her shoulders. He didn't want to share his sorrow with her.

Or else she would never smile again, and he would never be able to forgive himself.

As he watched the undulations of the seemingly endless ocean, he still felt that pain. It hurt that he hadn't seen her since their argument.

But it hurt even more knowing that she wasn't right there with him.

* * *

She shouldn't be here. Rorek would be furious if he knew that she was here. But if the jerk wouldn't even talk to her, then why should she care? She was angry at him. And if he didn't want to communicate, then two can play at that game.

Raven stood before the door at the dead end of the hallway where she had argued with the young wizard. Since he was being so repressive, she decided to answer her questions on her own.

She wanted to know why he was so temperamental that night. And the way he looked at her, the grief that swirled in his eyes had bothered her so much to the point that she couldn't even meditate.

Although she didn't admit it and even if she was technically angry at him, Raven was worried about Rorek. If he wouldn't talk about it, then she would have to take matters in her own hands.

She didn't sense anything on the other side of the room that sparked interest, and the humming that she heard a few days ago was seemingly nonexistent. Taking a deep breath, Raven grabbed the iron handle of the door and pushed it open.

She stepped into a dark, spacious room. The smell of dust hung in the air, and she could tell that this chamber hadn't been occupied for quite some time. Velvet curtains covered the length of the grand window, and there was an ancient fireplace on one side of the room. A queen-sized bed was settled against a wall, its sheets a creamy white and lined with aged lace. A dresser stood against another wall, and a large mirror hung above it.

Raven saw something on the edge of the dresser, and she went over to inspect it. She found an old, rectangular box, and with her curiosity motivating her, she opened the lid.

A gentle tune began to play softly, its beautiful melody both haunting and mesmerizing her. It sounded so serene, but for some reason, she felt sad listening to it. Each note tore at her, and weighed her heart down with an inexplicable sorrow.

She wasn't familiar with this kind of sadness. She felt like she lost something very dear to her, something that she couldn't get back if she tried. But what was it? Why was she feeling this way when she had no reason to?

Raven's eyes left the music box and to the mirror above the dresser. Her heart nearly stopped and she was deaf to the melody that continued to play.

What she saw was not her face. It was someone else's.

Curls of silver blonde hair hung above a pair of sea green eyes, and the rest was tied into a long plait down the back. The reflection possessed porcelain white skin and pink lips. Those eyes looked at her from an oval-shaped face, and she could have sworn that the ends of the lips were lifted in a small smile.

Raven blinked, and when she did she saw herself staring back at her from the mirror. The tune from the music box was now accompanied with the soft humming of a young woman, and she spun around to find the person that was in this room. She could sense something now, she just couldn't see it!

The humming faded away, but she could hear footsteps. The same ones that she heard before. Shutting the music box, she rushed out of the room and followed the footsteps as quickly as she could like she did once before.

She took a few moments to realize that the hallways were becoming familiar. Her chase was bringing her to the entrance of the castle. Her run altered to more of a glide, her feet hovering past the ground as she struggled to keep up.

When she hugged one last corner, she saw a flash of white passing through the castle doors. She opened them and continued her chase. She saw a figure in white running down the path and heading toward the beach, and she followed suit.

She glided down the winding path, and ended up on the pebble-strewn beach. There, the first person she saw was Rorek. His back was to her, and as always, his eyes were fixated on the ocean.

The second person she saw, however, gave her reason to be shocked.

A small boy of around eight or nine years old stood on the shore. His head was crowned with unruly silver white hair that fell to his shoulders, and like Rorek, his back was to her.

"Raven?" the wizard addressed her, but he might as well be talking to a rock. In her bewilderment, she didn't hear him.

The empath ignored him and approached the boy that stood at the water's edge. She knelt down to get a better look at him, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

His eyes were crystal blue, just like Rorek's. Sorrow was etched in the features of his round face, and she could see the tears that stained his pale cheeks. He was shivering uncontrollably, and he was doing his best to keep his sobs from escaping his throat.

_"They're gone...they're not coming back..."_ she heard him mumble. _"I am alone now. I will always be alone..."_

She was about to place her hand on his shoulder, but something pulled her up to her feet.

"Raven, what is wrong?!"

Rorek's voice brought her to her senses, and she found that his hands were clasped firmly around her arms.

"Rorek, don't you see him?"

Utter bewilderment crossed his eyes. "See who?"

"Him!" she said exasperatedly. "That boy, he's right there!" she pointed in the direction of the child, who seemed oblivious to them for he continued to stare at the ocean.

"Raven, there is no one there," Rorek replied.

"What are you talking about? He's right next to me, can't you see—"

Another look at the boy made her realize something: he looked exactly like Rorek would if he was a child. But...that couldn't be, could it? Rorek is alive, she knew it, he was right there in front of her.

How could she be seeing his ghost if Rorek was alive? He couldn't be dead...she _refused_ to believe that he was dead...

She brought her hands up to his face and slowly pulled down his scarf, revealing the rest of his face. His features were slightly feminine, but she found him to be handsome nonetheless. His eyes went wide at her uncharacteristic gesture, and he was motionless as her palms cupped the sides of his face.

"Rorek...you're real, aren't you?" she asked him, her voice soft with emotion. "You're with me right now at this very moment. You're not going to disappear, right?"

She waited anxiously for his answer. Whether he was a ghost or not, she didn't care. All she knew was that she didn't want to lose Rorek.

Raven felt his hand caressing her cheek, and she looked up to see his azure eyes gazing into hers.

"I'm not going to disappear," he told her in a tone that filled her with a joy that she hadn't felt before. "You will never be alone, Raven. I promise."

His lips formed a gentle smile, and she returned it with one of her own. However, her relief was short-lived when his body suddenly shook with violent coughs, and he collapsed onto the ground without warning.

As she tried to support him, images flashed through her mind. A young girl with silver-blonde hair was smiling as she sat by her window with a music box on her lap...and older woman with golden hair was crying in the comfort of a dark room...the blood red sun setting behind the trees of a shadow-infested forest...heaps of ashes piled on the pure white mounds of snow...

Her concern for the wizard outweighing the strange sensation, she pushed the images aside for now. There was something wrong with Rorek, and that was reason enough for her to think of nothing else.

* * *

"Rorek?"

Her voice stirred him from unconsciousness, and he opened his eyes to meet her dark ones. She looked extremely concerned for him, and he felt the all too familiar pang of guilt for making her feel that way.

"How are you feeling?"

"I am all right," he answered, managing a small smile.

"You're burning up," she said, placing a moist towel on his forehead. "I guess that's what happens when you spend so much time out in the cold."

"I apologize for troubling you—"

"Don't," she cut him off. "You're always apologizing for something, Rorek."

"I feel that I must," he stated assertively. "I have been terrible to you as of late."

Raven looked away from him. "It's not like I made it any better..."

"Still, I should not have yelled at you that night. Forgive me, but I just didn't want you to get hurt."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Why would I get hurt?"

"I'm not sure," he confessed, "I don't want anything to ever happen to you, Raven..."

An awkward silence settled between them. He had so much to tell her, but he didn't want to. He was afraid of how she would take it. He was afraid of how she would react. There was no need to impart her with his past, so he felt that he shouldn't bother her.

"Rorek...if you have something to say, then say it."

He stared at her, and he knew that she could sense his doubt.

"You've been acting differently the past week. I want to know what's bothering you. No lies, no denial. Something is wrong, and I want to know what it is. So tell me."

He could always trust her to be so straightforward. He saw the solemnity in her eyes, and he knew that it would be useless to reassure her that nothing was wrong.

Rorek would have to tell her. If that was what she truly wanted, then he had to do it. He didn't want her to worry about him more than she was now.

"Very well, then. The reason for my behavior is simply this, Raven: my mother and sister died on this day."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Yes, yes I know...bad time for a cliffhanger, but I'm not as nearly as bad as Rhea Hiryuu (just kidding btw, love her story, be sure to check it out if you're a Mal/Rae/Ror fan!). I didn't want to cram everything into one chapter like last time, so that's why I ended it where it is. Please don't hate me, I promise that I will get the next chapter up as soon as I can. **

**Well, I guess I have a few reviews to answer.**

**Treefroggy: I think I answered your question in the beginning of the fic. Another reason is that I just didn't feel right having Raven call the team up to tell her that's she's safe. It would be kind of awkward to me. Thanks by the way for your reviews! I'm glad that you like it.**

**Kagomeandinuyasha4ever: Hehe, I enjoyed writing the part where Emma gave Rorek a hard time, and don't worry: there shall be fluff!**

**SinFire99: Yes, I know that the last chapter was very long. That's why I'm dividing this one! Sorry if Emma got on your nerves, but I couldn't resist writing about her.**

**Darthmatt005: Very sorry to hear about your accident, and I hope that you get better. I'm glad that this story is one of your favorites, and I'll be sure to continue to write it.**

**Seeing how it's almost 2AM, I shall shut up now. Thanks so much for all your awesome reviews, and I promise that I'll have the next one up ASAP. Expect it to center around a certain white-haired wizard yet again.**


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